unconventionalwisdom

The Cat’s out of the Bag, Word on the Street is I said YES!

2012-01-04T09:35:00.002-06:00

…actually it was more like “(sniffle, sniffle) of course, yes, of course, I’ll marry you.” Those may have been my exact words. I will try in this space to accurately recall the events of the proposal date beginning with a short set up.

Thursday, December 29th we set off from Fort Worth bound for Amarillo to begin a long weekend of touring West Texas with the intention of introducing David to my grandmothers and privileged aunts. David had been acting strange over his Christmas break which was partly excusable by acquiring a dog and all the energies that go into training an adult dog to adapt to a new home AND keeping his mind off teaching as much as possible except for the two big boxes of “stuff” that he brought home to work on over the break, which as far as I know he hardly touched. Now I must also say that I was aware that he was trying to come up with a memorable way to pop the question to me and I was involved with his picking of the ring, a very involved process because he had something customized after we looked at lots of rings together online and talked with some jewelry experts in Denton at the beginning of his holiday break. Knowing all of this I still honestly thought he wasn’t going to get the ring in time to ask me over the break and he seemed reluctant to the offer to get me a ring-pop for every day until the real ring arrived.

We had an enjoyable visit with the Amarillo family and even got to camp out at Palo Duro Canyon, it was a little cold but I was prepared for that. David had cold feet! Friday evening we made it to Lubbock. I have since learned that shortly after our arriving at my parents’ house David received the package containing the ring. I learned later that he stuffed the packaging in his boot and carried the ring box in his pocket during our dinner with parents and brother. He behaved very unusual during this time trying to conceal the strange shape in his pocket. I was completely unaware. We parted ways that evening with David saying he wasn’t going to go with me to Midland the next day because he had so much school work to prepare for. I was really frustrated with him because I really wanted to introduce him to the family. So I pushed him out the door and said good night. He called as I was falling asleep, several hours later after I had sent a text saying “call at your own risk” simply saying that he would be there in the morning. Yea!!!!!

We had a good visit to Midland with both my dad and David, nothing too out of the ordinary occurred while we were down there. David rode in the back seat both there and back working on school stuff to my delight. My dad pressed the point that he had wanted to head out by 2:30, I think is what he said. I found it a bit unusual for him to plan and execute such an early and short visit to Midland to see his mom and sister, usually I think we would stay and visit until it seemed convenient to leave rather than rush our time together. Oh well. I picked up on that clue and thought it might be linked to some plan David had concocted.

When we got back to Lubbock, we reorganized a bit and David and I went to J & B Coffee House on 19th Street (formerly Daybreak) where both he and his sister had worked after our college days but also the place where David first started taking me to when we were just getting to know each other under the pretense of studying together. The whole time we were there was really strange. David introduced me to the two baristas who were working and seemed to be expecting us. They didn’t charge us for our drinks, which I was able to excuse that away since we don’t get to visit the shop very often. Then David kept walking around the shop and talking with the baristas while I just sat at the front of the store waiting for my Texas Gold tea to cool down enough to drink. I remembered to call a friend who was coming down from Boulder, CO that I wanted to see while we were both in town at the same time. So she came over for about 15 minutes which really seemed to through David off. This was when it all started to fall into place in my mind. So I let my friend know that I suspected something was up and that we should keep our visit brief.

While at the coffee shop one of the baristas said he thought some of the art in the shop was from a friend of ours. He indicated that it was in the back so we went back there and found a painting called “Birds of a Feather.” This seemed like something David had likely had commissioned by this friend of ours and I said it was really cute and that I like it a lot. So he talked with the baristas and brought the painting to me and said it was for my house. Yea! I like sentimental gifts. Then we started reading the “Happy Thoughts Book” that patrons put notes into, it’s a fun concept. The last note I recognized as David’s paper, I wanted to grab it right away and read it but I played along and sat patiently waiting for him to get to it. It was folded like a card with the message on the front saying, “Do you want to take a walk down memory lane?” There was a box to check “yes” or “no” and a drawing underneath that looked like a street sign. One of the signs said Memory Lane the other was Ave Q. Then I knew our next destination would be Ave Q and 21st street, a place where we would often visit, sometimes just the two of us and sometimes with other friends, taking with us muffins and coffee and warm accepting smiles. This was a favorite was for both of us to express our religious convictions, to love God by loving those who are not shown enough love.

When we got there a slight glitch occurred. Right behind us two police cars rolled in pulling over another vehicle and blocking us in. We did our best to ignore the arrest that was taking place and go on about our business. We walked around to the sidewalk where we so often stood and I found a birdhouse up beside one of the buildings. Inside of the birdhouse was a note, a very strange note that I could not make heads or tails of. It said something about doing something three times that would evoke a curse we would want to have put on us. We walked around and talked about it waiting for the police to move their cruisers then drove off for the Lubbock Christian University Campus.

Apparently the saying went, “swing three times and a ring by spring.” I remember the part “…and a ring by spring” but I thought it was preceded by something else. Oh well. Maybe some of my other LCU friends can help jog my memory. So we sent to swing on some of the benches on campus. When we got to the third one there was a note taped under it saying something about a place where we ran but never got far enough. There was also a statue with a tree and a couple birds sitting in it. The place the note was referring to was Higginbotham Park, where David trained for his first marathon and I have also spent countless hours both with him and on my own running. Back in our poor college days before Garmin GPS or other devices he assumed the trail was a mile and therefore didn’t train far enough for his race and it really cost him.

We walked around the park then went to the pavilion with a heart statue in the middle. It had a couple birds in the heart that I had never noticed before. I had a hard time finding the gift that was left at that place but eventually I did. It was a bird cage with a candle in the middle. The bird was sitting on top of the cage instead of inside. He said this was to be our centerpiece for dinner and we would be going to a place where I had previously taken him on a date to, Olive Garden. Yum.

We got a lot of attention by bringing in our own centerpiece which was fun. Some people asked if we were on our anniversary and that sort of thing. It was very romantic and the service was exceptional. I highly recommend bringing something to restaurants with you on special occasions to make sure your dinner is regarded as special by the servers, works like a charm. After dinner I asked “where to next?” David said he was thinking about going up to Lake Ransom Canyon but didn’t exactly remember how to get there. So I gave him directions and off we went.

He parked along the path to the chapel and took with him my head light, a light he was carrying, and the painting. He gave me the headlight and I remember noticing that he light was blue, I thought that was fun. We walked along the path to the chapel and sat by the bird fountain near the St. Francis statue on a park bench. He had me look for the signature on the picture since I hadn’t seen one when we took it from the coffee shop. With my headlight I began to see some words in the top part. I had a pretty good idea about what I was supposed to be seeing. So I started to say it out loud, “will you…does this say” then he cut me off, handed me his black light flash light, got down on his knee and said it with me, “Will you marry me?”

Yup, and like I said at the beginning, through intermittent happy tears I was able to blabber an affirmative. Yea! He hugged me, I cried on the picture. Glad it was well framed with glass so I wasn’t going to smear it. And as we walked back to the car he explained everything. About how he was having the ring sent to my dad, how he had gotten it and had to conceal it from me. He explained why he wasn’t going to go to Midland so he could set everything up but that our wonderful friend, Bonnie (the artist), place the items around town so that he could. The painting was made entirely by David with disappearing ink for the writing that he happened to find while we were in Denton checking out rings. He told me about when and where he had to go during his holiday break to make sure everything was ready and flawless. He also admitted to having some backup ideas that he would keep secret and maybe I will get to experience versions of those at another time.

So that’s my story. We went back to my parents’ place and made our announcement to them before going to Fox and Hound for a game of Shuffle Board. Then we sat together making calls and texts to lots of people. We finished up our calls in time to rejoin the party for a celebratory midnight champagne toast, because this was after all New Year’s Eve. Happy New Year! I think 2012 will be a good one for us. No word yet on when the wedding will be. I expect it will be very small. Details will be announced as they are determined on a need to know basis. Thanks for reading friends! Check back for pictures of the gifts, the card, and close ups of the ring.

Return (Voltar)

2011-01-18T08:38:00.003-06:00

This morning I'm hungry. I rarely wake up hungry but I also rarely wake up at 7am, that is now... that I'm not working. So I decided to cook rice and beans and veggies, Brazilian style. The beans take forever without a pressure cooker. I am still hungry.

I returned from Brazil a month ago Sunday. Life has been chaotic since that day. Since before that day really. I have been in Charleston, SC for 12 days, the longest I've been in one place since Thanksgiving.

Life hasn't felt "right" since I've come "home." Now, it's hard to go home when you don't know where home is. I guess I should be calling Charleston home now that I've been here almost two weeks but I'm not really working or engaged in much here yet. I have a couple friends but my journey has been so different from theirs that I feel alone.

Living in tight community like what we shared in Rio will do that to a person I feel. There were four Americans and one Brazilian living in a house in favela do Jacarezhinho. Not only was it sharing a lot of personal space but it was also sharing lots of new experiences together. Most of us were new to Brazil or new to Rio, we were new to working with kids and women living on the streets, new to talking Portuguese or English, new to cooking on more primitive appliances and having so many fresh exotic produce around. We shared every waking moment of our lives together for four months and then the umbilical cord was broken and we have split up across the United States. And so I have been mourning. Mourning and hungry.

Hungry not just for Brazilian food and culture but for community. For my fellow Americans who I shared so many unfamiliar experiences with and also for my adventurous Brazilian friends who hiked halfway across the megalopolis of Rio with me. These are the people my heart longs for right now.

Also, job searching is destroying my self-value. I feel like with every application I submit I'm trying to sell myself and many of the places where I'm applying, I know I can do better. I know I should be seeking meaningful work that serves a disadvantaged demographic but right now I'm tired. I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I'm mourning. So I seek easy work while I mourn, am tired and hungry.

Working with Word Made Flesh in Rio (again) reminded me what I was created for. Slaving away with no noticeable gains in Chicago was breaking my spirit and blinding me to God's purposes. No doubt I brightened someone's day, was a good friend to some, and did some "good" but my life was far from my calling. Now in Charleston I'm trying to find my focus, work towards obtaining a more long-term VISA for Brazil and building a support base. But in the meantime, wherever I work, whatever community I find here, I want this life to be glorifying to God as well. I want this chapter of my life to edifying to the whole story, not another step back or a point of stagnation.

My heart is still in Rio. My body has returned but my heart is still in Rio and this makes me a hungry, tired, mourning mess. Please pray for my friends who are also recovering from their time in Brazil and also my friends in Brazil who are facing the constant rains.

Saudades Brasil!

Cerial Blog edition 1

2010-12-30T16:57:00.003-06:00

Week one in the US of A I ate a box of Total Blueberry cereal. It was great. I ate fresh blueberries with the cereal and kefir instead of milk. I felt healthy and energetic all day. What cereal should I try next?
I hope you enjoy my new series on common cereals. Please send me the names of your favorites so I know what to try next.

I made a mistake, it wasn't Total, it was Special K. I don't know why I made this mistake but please forgive me, all three of my readers. I haven't picked my second box of cereal yet because I have no income and cereal is expensive.

Things are Heating Up

2010-10-24T10:47:00.002-05:00

I realize that over the past month I have not been updating as regularly as I had intended to. Part of that is because of busyness (limited freetime to devote to rest, reading, internet and whatever else I may want to do) but also because of costs. If $ were no factor to things I would then I would have uploaded all my photos, emailed many friends personal updates and generally kept closer to you whom I love states-side. As it is, I´ve limited myself to R$5 of internet usage per month. Please understand/respect my decision to live simply.

Recently we´ve had a few really hot days. The kind of days where you come out of the shower and instantly begin sweating again. These days are difficult in a world where I only experience air conditioner once a week for a brief time. But still there are some cloudy days and some rainy days so it´s not like day after day of continuous sweating.

For instance, this Monday on the streets it was raining heavily. So we ducked under an awening with 8 or so of our friends who call the streets their homes, regardless of the weather. One women (19) and her 1 year old baby boy were there asking if we could help her find a shelter that would take her and her baby. The next day Rich searched but some shelters had closed down and most required money. There are so few shelters that will allow women to stay with their children here. And it seems that the government does not fun sufficiently very many options for this friend of ours.

On a brighter note, Friday night at the Missionaries of Charity soup kitchen for men of the streets, we had some very exciting conversations. Our Portuguese teacher has done a very good job with us and it´s exciting to be able to understand people´s stories and then to be able to tell people what we are about.

Yesterday we hiked Corcavado (the mountain of the christ statue) with four of our closest Brazilian friends. It took us 2.5 hours to climb up but then back down part way to the vans that shuttle people to the top. They were charging R$24 to get up to christ. Last time I came it was free. I thought charging so much was an outrage so 5 of us walked as far as was permitted without a ticket and took pictures of the backside of christ. Then when the group got back together we continued to walk all the way to Alto do Boa Vista. We had to have covered 10-12 miles, some VERY steep. This was an absurdly fantastic adventure.

Thanks for reading.
Happy Birthday Matt!
jen

Meio Passado esta passada

2010-10-16T09:45:00.003-05:00

Half this trip is now over. I feel like we have gotten to the pinnacle of the roller coaster and now we will be flung down in a whirlwind to the end.

Tuesday was Children´s Day. I am convinced that this holiday is expressed by blasting music and shooting fireworks until 5am the night leading up to the holiday prohibiting children and parents alike from any sleep. On the holiday taking children to the park for a picnic and lots of cake. Culminating in street parades and singing happy birthday to no one in particular at 10pm. And ending the event with a mix of American dance club music (especially Lady Gaga) and Brazilian Funk until 3am. Of course the day before and the day after the holiday are taken off from work to allow for such involved partying.

Needless to say, I haven´t been getting much sleep these past few days. So while composing this message I was relaxing at a used bookstore/cafe enjoying espresso with dolce de lette topped with whipped cream. The espresso was strong and bitter, well paired with the sweet toppings. This was a great way to prepare for working at the sala (Projeto Ester).

On Children´s Day we escaped to the beach for the majority of the day. We all got a lot of sun but our Brazilian escort/housemate Diego probably got the most sun burnt despite having used sun screen. We also endured frequent pummeling from the ridiculously strong waves and wind. Truly it was a wonderful day. I look forward to a quieter week ahead.

Diego is a really neat guy. We (4 gringos) moved into his space 9 weeks ago and now I think he kinda loves having us around, mostly. He is from North Brazil and has worked with YWAM in Argentina and Paraguay as well as in other parts of Brazil. When he was much younger he was called by God in a dream to minister to children in Mozambique. Now he is 22 and this January, Lord willing, he will be on his way there for a year of service, though he feels called to 5 years. He will be a dad to the orphans while preaching the Good News. I have loved getting to know this brother. Currently Diego is on staff with WMF. It will be really hard for the community here to see him go but is will also be a miracle. Fundraising and acquiring VISA and passport have been very difficult for him even though he has a very close and wonderful church community.

Thanks for reading. Please pray for the Brazilian servants of God-their tenacity to follow the callings they have received. Ta ta for now. Thanks for reading and praying.
jen

``Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that I need, or I shall be full, and deny you, and say `who is the Lord?´´

Na Sua Esquerda (on your left!!!)

2010-10-06T08:35:00.002-05:00

Last week was a good week. Actually every week has been better than the last for me. The more language I learn the more conversations I can have, the more I enjoy being here. But this week was also the first time I became seriously excited about when I return. I´m excited now to more back to Lubbock and begin a 2 year fundraising campaign, to be closer to family, and to be at South Plains Church of Christ. I´m also excited to reconnect with many people who were so formative in getting me to this point where I desire to do missions rather than wearing myself out with the endless pursuit of money.

Enough about that for now. This upcoming weekend is the Chicago Marathon. Best of luck to those of you participating. I wish I were there with you. Instead I will be running a 10k at Flemengo Beach with 3 friends and most of WMF Brazil present to cheer us on. I got to run Monday 7-7.5 miles (not so sure without my Garmin) and I´ve still got it. 50-54 minutes should be reasonable for me assuming the course isn´t too crowded. I don´t think the start will be corralled by pace like I´m used to. It will be fun just to have raced in another country.

To more serious matters, the police rounded up several of the youth from the streets to take to shelters. Usually they run away from the shelters in a few days but perhaps some will find refuge.

Monday, we met a women with a 9 day old baby, yes on the streets. It was a cold day and they were wrapped in a sheet together. I was able to get them some milk and food and yesterday she went ´home´ apparently. Some of the staff visited her there yesterday to make sure the baby was okay and hopefully this will be a better place for them to stay for a little while.

I am told that many of the people we meet on the streets have homes or family in favelas away from central Rio. Usually they have then chosen to live on the streets. Many say they were beaten at home or just don´t like it there. Home life must be really bad if street life is better. I can´t imagine what it would take for me to choose to be homeless.

Again to change the subject, Sunday was election day. A new president has not been decided yet but the candidate my friends were pulling for is out of the running. It is now between Lula´s girl, Dilma and some other guy whose name I don´t know but who all those opposed to Lula will not support just because he is the alternative. The run-off election will be November 15th to decide between these two candidates. A candidate must have 51% of the votes to be elected and voting is mandatory.

That´s enough for now, as it heats up here I´m seeing more and more signs of Christmas. Please pray for my friends living in difficult circumstances especially the little baby.

blessings and love!!!

How do I get to last place?

2010-09-28T16:52:00.002-05:00

This is a quote from Caleb, a young man on my servant team who always seems to have the best quotes come out of his mouth. Jesus taught us that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. In this upside-down kingdom I find that I have been born into a disadvantaged position. I have been born into relative wealth and possessions can be dangerous. `Possessions are dangerous because they often encourage unconcern for the poor, because they lead to strife and war, and because they seduce people into forsaking God. Even more, they put people in the never-ending loop of covetousness.`Ron Sider `Rich Christians in an age of Hunger.` I´m still trying to break the bond I have to things and security.
Last night we went to Central Rio and hung out with 25 people or so (someone is always coming and going). We took our usual food, games, and bible story. I sat with children coloring in my lap most of our time there. As we were getting up to leave, I pulled my rain jacket out of the bag and began to put it on when a young man (16 or so) with his arms tucked inside his tank top asked me for my jacket. My response was Eu pressiso (I need) and I think my facial response was to quickly close down. I failed to see him as a person surviving the elements without the opportunity to easily acquire his perceived needs as I was. Another young man who has been meeting with Word Made Flesh for nearly seven years stepped in to rescue me. He knew me and this group as friends so he helped me get my arm into the jacket. The first boy asked next for my sun glasses and the second boy in again. He rescued me from this uneasy situation.
I desire to be seen as a friend, not a rich American. And I desire to see these people as real friends not people I have to guard against. There is so much between us.
This week we went to a passeo (field trip) to Quinta Boa Vista (a big park) with the kids from Projeto Vidinha, 15 or so ages 4-18. I played lots of baseball, soccer, Frisbee, and other games. It was a wonderful time. I got my first sunburn since being here. It has been raining a lot these past four days but the sun came out long enough for us to enjoy the park.
Afterwards we went to a Brazilian friend´s house and ended up watching A Walk To Remember. This was NOT chosen by the Americans. Cheesy!
Sunday we went to a place called the Jerusalem Cultural Center which was a large model of the city of Jerusalem during the years 66-70 CE. It was complete with Herod´s Temple, the palace of David, Upper and Lower city, the city of the second wall, and the New City. This was really cool. I love maps so this 3D map got me really excited. I wish I had access to this while studying bible at LCU and Wheaton. The model was located on the property of a mega church not to unlike Willow Creek. It even had a Bob´s (Bob´s is like Brazilian McDonald's) on site. Afterwards we walked to church in the pouring rain.
I´m still really enjoying being here after 7 weeks. I´m loving having access to fresh fruit and veggies. I made a veggie stir-fry for four the other day and spent about $1.10 USD in total. Today we bought 2 pineapples and a pint of strawberries for $1.75. We´ve been making smoothies often to try to stay cool and get our vitamins. It´s a real treat. Anyway. Off I go. Cooking pizza tonight. Tchou! Thanks for reading.

Psalm 139

2010-09-21T17:02:00.004-05:00

Read the chapter first if you want to understand

Yesterday we did Lectia Divina on Ps. 139. I was touched by several images. The phrase that struck me most was `You hem me in` remembering the prayer of St. Patrick. Then considering the final stanza about search me, know my heart, know my thoughts, see if there is offensive ways in me, lead me in the way everlasting. (paraphrase of vs. 23-24).
God is with all his children even in the places we consider most dark. God makes those places of light. He also directs us to become agents of light, driving out darkness. He exposes the dark places inside each of us.
There are parts of me which are opposed to the light. I pray that God would either destroy those parts or completely reconcile them to Himself. I realize that I am a mess spiritually at time. I profess Christ and He is instructing me in freedom but I abuse this freedom possibly to an extent that damages Kingdom efforts to reconcile a broken world. I am free to do all things except that which harms my brother or sister. Sometimes the effects of my actions are hard to discern. It seems I need increased wisdom in these matters as well.
Lord begin this painful work in me.

Last Tuesday by grandfather passed away with ALS. I expected he would while I was here in Brazil but it was still hard being so far from the family. My dad was able to call Wednesday night while I was teaching Jessica our new cardio workout. It was good to hear his voice. I´m thankful for our group cell phone. Then Friday during the funeral I went to the Metropolitan Cathedral to pray alone. This was a good time for me.
Last weekend we stayed at the Nichol´s house outside the favela. The Nichols are the American WMF staff. There was lots of English speaking and American food. When we left the house to go to the grocery store it took me a little while to remember I was in another place. Yesterday and today were good to be with Brazilians again, speaking Portuguese, giving positive attention to children who don´t want us to leave.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that I got to run nearly 5.5 mile on Sunday at an island called Paquita in the bay. It was a chilly overcast day, perfect for running.

one month

2010-09-14T18:07:00.003-05:00

Friends and Family
I´ve been in Rio a couple days short of a month. I have the tan lines to show for it and maybe a couple extra pounds. But maybe you want to know what´s impacted me or how I´ve impacted this community in that time.

Last night we went to the streets of downtown Rio and gathered with many people: children (8-14 years), young adults (15-21), and young families (22-older). There was a woman maybe 21 years old and 8 months pregnate with a 1 year old child. There was a motherly figure (probably late 30s but looked nearly 50), a young woman (16ish) under the mother´s care (not her mother), and a couple men all going to the same house later this week. There were 5 or 6 8-12 year old boys with a girl (maybe 9) practicing their provacative dance moves and several other individuals gathered this week. I spent most of the evening listening to the stories of an energetic/buzzed man (one of the ones going to a house together). He had never been to this woman´s house and said he was afraid to go. He said she was strict (not sure what that implied). He told me he has been living on these streets since he was 8 years old. He had been married but said that was no good and has a 19 year old son he hasn´t seen in 2 years and is now too ashamed to go see/find him. Many times he expressed his gratitude that we were there and said it was not good when we are away.

Almost every women I have met living on the streets18 years or older is pregnate. It seems like a perpetual state of being for these young women. Abortion is illegal in Rio but many have lost children presumably this way and many are raising children while barely able to support themselves. My heart breaks.

But then I get on a bus, ride for an hour to my current home which is like a huge suburban home compared to the conditions of my new friends´ trying to survive on the streets. I eat a big meal, have a shower, and sleep fairly peacefully. Perhaps this journey from ´have-not´to ´have´ is tearing me to peices.

I desire to build genuine relationships but feel limited because of the language barrier. I´m understanding more and more each day but can´t contribute much to a conversation. This is okay. It´s a humble position to be a baby, unable to talk only able to look and smile. I´m certain body language communicates our love sufficiently for now.

My greatest impact right now can only be my prayers. I´m dreaming about and wrestling with ideas about what my role might be in this place if I will be able to make a long-term committment.

That´s enough for now. Right now I´m making tortillas for everyone in the house. Yum!
Much love, I miss you, pray for you, and look forward to seeing you again!!!!
jen

Genocide

2010-09-08T16:19:00.003-05:00

Greetings!
I have now been in Rio 3 weeks and we are in the midst of a colonial revolution. Yesterday we blockaded their points of entry and poisoned the disputed territory. This morning I found 8 enemies dead and only 3 living but I know the battle is no where near over. As often as we discuss colonialism and our role hopefully as reverse colonialists we are actively participating in the genocide of Baratas (tiny Portuguese roaches), the natives. They have the run of our kitchen even though we clean thoroughly everyday. We store nothing in the cabinets or drawers. Our food is kept in plastic containers with sealing lids. Our dishes are stored in the fridge. Never fear, we will prevail!

Since being here I have read a lot, "Tuesdays with Morrie", "Dispossessed", "The Jesus I Never Knew", "A New Kind of Christianity", along with Ester, Job, and Joshua. I am now reading "Compassion" by Nouwen, McNeill, and Morrison, "The Kite Runner" and Judges. I also picked up a copy of Runners World in Portuguese. It is the August edition even though we are now well into September-oh well.

It has been a bit overcast and drizzly since Sunday. This weather has me thinking about fall in Chicago. It would be great running weather if that were an option for me here. Instead I sit inside and read.

Perhaps because of the gloomy weather we had a great gathering of children and young families on the streets Monday night to hangout with. Mondays are when we walk the streets looking for people we know living without homes. There were nearly 25 of our friends in one place. The past two weeks we have maybe found 3-8 people generally in a couple areas. This time we were able to set up for a few hours with a soccer ball, sidewalk chalk, drawings, Jenga, Uno, a Bible story (the story of the lost sheep), food and drink, and lots of attempted conversation. The smallest children are very precious, when they see Dandy or Jacqui (Brazilian staff) walking up they run for an embrace. It is evident that real relationships have been formed. And many women have benefited from Project Ester, the conversations and connections formed there.

Yesterday was a big work day for the Servant Team at Project Ester. We sanded and painted metal handrails and a suspended iron gate. We were filthy from the dust that had settled for so many years and tired from working from a ladder for so many hours. But the place looks pretty good, much improved anyway since it was purchased a year ago. Yesterday was also Brazil´s first independence day so there was a big parade in downtown and a "march for Jesus" in our favela. No work for Brazilians but extra work for Americans.

Thanks again for reading. This weekend would have been Mother Teresa´s 100th birthday so I will leave you with a quote, "If the work is looked at just by our own eyes and only from our own way, naturally, we ourselves can do nothing. But in Christ we can do all things. That´s why this work has become possible, because we are convinced that it is he, he who is working with us and through us in the poor and for the poor."

Just a reminder of my continued financial need. I left three weeks ago trusting that God would provide the support necessary for my participation in this ministry completely before I return in December. To date I have received $3500 of $5200. If you want to support you can either through the WMF website (www.wordmadeflesh.org) or by mailing checks to Word Made Flesh P.O. Box 70 Omaha, NE 68101. Remember not to put my name on the check but in an enclosed note. Thank you for your prayers as well!

"For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted" Luke 14:11
Please join me where you are in learning to be a servant, humbly walking with God, seeing every lowly person as Jesus who we are sent to serve.

shalom,
jen

Update from Brazil

2010-09-02T09:28:00.002-05:00

I have now been in Brazil 2 weeks. I have adjusted to the new pace of life fairly quickly. Prior to coming here I was working 60 hr weeks, running, fund raising, and spending as much time with friends as possible. Now we have slowly integrated into Brazilian life meaning for the first week we spent more time at home then away so that we wern´t too overwhelmed by the language/culture/ministry sites. Now we are doing more and that is what I prefer. As far as fun things go our welcome dinner was a pizza rodizio (all-you-can-eat) including hamburger pizza, shrim pizza, stroganoff pizza, Portuguese pizza, strawberry and ice cream pizza, banana and cinnimon pizza. There were probably 35 types of pizza circulating. Yum.
The first weekend we hiked at Sugar Loaf. I convinced my friend Jacqui to run down the mountain so I guess you could say that I have been running here (maybe 1 mile).

This weekend we went to a very sad zoo. They had many animals that did not look like they had a very good life. And then Sunday I made Brownies from an American box mix. Brownies (like what we eat) are unheard of here but Brazilians love them so it was fun to treat some friends to this baked treat. (Consider sending box brownie mixes, hint)

Ministry highlights: The children from Projeto Vidinha remember me. I went to their school unexpectedly and was greated with many wonderful sweaty hugs. I very nearly cried with this experience.

The newer ministry: Projeto Ester is realy neat. Women that we meet on the streets are invited to our space for a hot meal, devotion, craft, and sometimes school lessons. It´s very casual and a much better way to get to know the women. They are able to shower and wash their clothes at the space as well.

On the streets the cutest little boys ask me to adopt them. This breaks my heart because I really want to, like seriously.

And I hesitate to share this last bit but it´s funny so I will, I´m trimming my own hair now and Charlotte, a teammate died it Magenta for me because all the red had faded out in the Brazilian sun. Now with Magenta hair all the Brazilian kids flock to me. I sat down at church and before I knew it three little boys were by my side trying to talk with me. This is fun. Who knew pink hair could be a ministry technique?

Please continue to pray for our safety. We have had no worries and hope for this to remain so. Also pray for my fundraising. I´m still trying to raise $2400.
Thanks for reading, thanks for praying, thanks for caring.

Obrigada,
jen

Fund Raising

2010-08-23T19:31:00.003-05:00

I wanted to let people know where I was regarding fundraising. It appears that I have raised $2750 of $5200. This presents a problem for me as I will be responsible for the difference when I return if it has not been raised by then. So here is how you can help... PLEASE SEND SUPPORT TO:
Word Made Flesh
P.O. Box 70
Omaha, NE 68101
Please don´t write my name on the check but on a note attatched to the check. Thanks!

check out the web site, see what we´re doing. Read my stories. Sorry that none are up yet. I´m still getting my barings, not much free time.
www.wordmadeflesh.org
www.wordmadeflesh.org/support/give/

email me with specific questions, I respond to those more quickly.
pare.jennifer@gmail.com

Much Love, stories to come!

Word Made Flesh Bible reflection

2010-08-15T12:39:00.003-05:00

This is the last of my pre-departure reading responses. That means that at least one thing is now complete for take-off. I still have to change my address on accounts and services because when I return from Rio I will not be staying in the Chicago area. That means that I working on two moves at once. Fun! Thanks for reading.

The Bible and what God has to say about the poor

“I gave you empty stomachs in every city and lack of bread in every town, yet you have not returned to me, declares the Lord” Amos 4:6.

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” Matthew 25:34-40.

Recently I had a conversation with my spiritual mentor, a professor at Lubbock Christian University. He is redesigning his intro to missions class and planning a new Old Testament class. We discussed some of the changes he would be making to these standard courses it is was words from God, exactly what I needed to hear as I was preparing to write this reflection and put thought into action in Rio.

We discussed the grand narrative (creation through redemption) and our purpose at this point in the story. Generally our theology has been shaped by concepts of heaven and hell, physical and spiritual, and the separation of these things. I highly suspect this was not the paradigm that Moses, Abraham, Jonah, Jesus, or even Paul operated from. Through my reading, reflection, and conversations I am learning to see God as a Creator of creators redeeming His creation through us. This means that I have a role in the redemption of this world. My role has been demonstrated through the life of Christ.

Christ lived to redeem (make perfect) this world. He healed the sick, threw parties for the poor, fed the hungry, hand-selected people to love, develop, and value. That is my example and I am trying to mimic the life Christ demonstrated. That means in Brazil through prayer I will seek to have eyes open and heart softened to see the people that I can be like Jesus toward. I am not the savior and I don’t want to be misunderstood but I do believe that it is the believers’ role to redeem God’s creation until heaven is fulfilled.

The Good News About Injustice

2010-08-15T12:37:00.000-05:00

Good News About Injustice: A Witness of Courage in a Hurting World
Gary A. Haugen

Gary is the International Justice Mission founder. He thinks like a lawyer and has seen terrible brokenness all over the world from the Rwandan Massacre to thirteen year olds in brothels to child bonded labor in Indian mudalali cigarette factories to many other situations of terrible oppression. His writing is orderly and logical (he is a lawyer after all) and the book serves to remind the body of Christ that we all play a role in fighting global injustices. The book includes the anatomy of injustice and what you can do to combat it.

“Overtime I have come to see questions about suffering in the world not so much as questions of God's character but as questions about the obedience and faith of God's people" (pg. 100).

Haugen’s book is intentionally encouraging. He recognizes frequently the overwhelming power of suffering to freeze and numb people while reminding his readers that God goes before us, he is the firm ground beneath us even as we venture into chaotic and dangerous territory. If we are to be God’s hands and feet, we must go to the people Christ healed and comforted.

"Why O Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? God may be asking similar questions—not of himself but of his people: 'And the LORD looked and was displeased that there was no justice. He saw that there was no one, he was appalled that there was no one to intervene.' 'Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' (Isaiah 6:8; 59:15-16)" (pg. 140-141).

Haugen reminds his readers that the first step in bringing justice is to remember the suffering people. So many of us live in comfortable, controlled places that disconnect us from real suffering in the world. We could read in a newspaper about a terrible war crime or assault but neglect to remember the victim as uniquely created in God’s own image until we step out of our comfortable world into the world of suffering armed with the lovingly powerful heart of God.

I had forgotten how powerfully inspiring and convicting this book is, having not read it in nearly three years. I realize that in my own life, even knowing people that have personally experienced tremendous oppression I may remember them fondly for the friendship created but still I neglect to remember daily and petition for justice to reign for these dear friends. How quickly we forget even the most profound spiritual lessons when we live comfortable lives of detachment from unjust suffering.

21 days to go

2010-07-27T11:50:00.004-05:00

The countdown begins. 21 days=3 weeks. I've been telling people I'm leaving in like a month or something. BUT OMG it's only 3 weeks away!!!!!
I have finally printed support cards and a small stack of support letters. I've been debating whether I should do a full scale mail out like I've done in the past. The letter looks great and I have wonderful friends who probably enjoy receiving a physical letter but mailing that many letters is a bit pricey and I'm trying to collect rather than spend money in this case. What to do...
I have not received notice from WMF yet as to my current funds collected. This makes me very nervous. But it's in God's hands.

To prepare for this trip I have to read and review 3 books plus have a reaction to what I'm reading in my current Bible studies. Today I sent in my responses to "Brazil: An Oxfam Country Profile." By Jan Rocha and "In the Name of Jesus" by Henri J. M. Nouwen. I was not actually able to read these books because my heavily loved and notated copies are lost in Lubbock somewhere. But I was able to read what I have written on them in the past and use my questionable memory to have new insights on the material I recall to be contained in them. And for the sake of possible commentary I'll post both of my responses here.
Thanks for reading!

Brazil by Jan Rocha

I recently read over the essay I submitted on this text three years ago and have reflected on what details have stuck with me over this time. It is evident to me that I took remembered the information that I understood experientially. I remember reading about the rural poverty in Brazil, the take over of family farms and youth leaving their families for the cities. I remember in great detail the explanations on stripping the Amazon to increase cattle grazing lands and the subsequent expansion of arid (un-farmable) lands. Growing up in a West Texas town, rural poverty and agrarian practices are simple truths. These were the concepts that I read about and could relate to directly.

Trying to reflect on the description on the urban environment, I remember very little about what Jan Rocha tries to convey. I do know that there was a section on favelas, their origins, what they are, why, and where. This background was helpful to me going into the favelas for the first time and also as I began to understand the culture of these places. Consequently, a year ago I went to a barrio in Venezuela incidentally assuming that it would be very similar to what I experienced in the favela only to be shocked by the blatant differences. I could not find a paradigm for understanding what I was seeing and being told while at the same time trying to find the similarities between the Venezuela barrios and my home in Jacarezhino.

I also remember appreciating that this book was more than a history of Rio de Janeiro, a description of politics, or social tourism. Jan Rocha tried to take an unbiased approach to describe some of the over-arching themes of what makes Brazil the place we find it to be today. Brazil is a place of booming economy (car manufacturing and vast energy sources), evolving government, and the full spectrum of poverty and wealth among its citizens.

Working in a place that has healthy and fractured elements is difficult. It can be difficult to explain to people at home that I’m not going to Brazil to find beautiful beaches but to confront some of the greatest poverty in the world. It is hard to reassure families that by going to this place of poverty that I will find the safety that I need to maintain health and sustainability. Brazil is hard to wrap your mind around, it is also hard to experience but never the less it is a place where God is at work and is beckoning me toward.

In the Name of Jesus by Henri J. M. Nouwen

"Much Christian leadership is exercised by people who do not know how to develop healthy, intimate relationships and have opted for power and control instead."

This short, easy read by Nouwen is one of my all time favorites on ministry. Nouwen assess the way Christian ministers have traditionally taken on their role and reveals through the temptations of Christ how a minister in love with Christ might lovingly take on the challenging role of ministry.

The way of this world is to move up the corporate ladder, to gain power, money, and popularity. The way of Christ is through humility, love, giving, and relationships. The way of Jesus is counter-cultural and as much as I may desire to follow the example Christ has set for my life, I struggle. I want to be a person motivated by love. I want to be a person who values healthy relationships and is not swayed by personal power or influence.

This book is broken into chapters discussing the three temptations of Christ, to be relevant, spectacular, and powerful. In relevance, I see the trends in ministry books to address culture, sub-cultures, and generations in relevant ways. Nouwen cautions against this approach because it not genuine. Altering your message and style obsessively to reach particular people is not profound and cheapens the love Christ has for all people. Ministers who are deeply in love with their savior effect people richly.

The second temptation, to be spectacular reminds me of the reaction some people have when I tell them that I am going to Rio to live and work from the favelas. They tell me I’m some kind of super-hero and I want to plug my ears and scream. People try to make their ministers heroes, better than the normal human, and in this way unattainable to the average person. I want to have some comeback to this reaction to people who want to make me other than them like saying “I slept through work one day last week and my co-workers don’t think I’m wonderful” or “I cuss when I get angry on the road” but that would not solve the cultural complication. Nouwen suggests ministers especially need to be in the habit of confession. Communities should be in the habit of confession to one another. Christian communities need to see that we are all average people but God has made us spectacular. Our lives are still full of sin but God is bigger than that and chooses to use each of us still to bring love and reconciliation to a hurting world.

In the third and final temptation, Nouwen exposes our shared temptation to be powerful. So many ministers and people of influence and leadership are corrupted by the pursuit of power. Nouwen suggests that our response to subduing the urge for power should be reflection on God theologically and contemplatively. Quite simply we are to focus our attention on the one who has the power and off of our egocentric selves.

Last time I was in Rio, I spent a lot of my unstructured time on the roof reading, being intellectual, trying to make sense of what I was experiencing. This time, going back, I want to make my priority building relationships with people that are healthy. I do not want to grow close to my Brazilian neighbors to “convert” them or for the specific task of teaching me Portuguese. I want to make friends to sharing in the joys and suffering of my neighbors, or learn and to impart, to mutually value. And perhaps God will bless these relationships and teach me to love and live a bit more like Christ.

Mullen's Fun-Raising Party

2010-07-25T13:23:00.001-05:00

See my flier for August 6th 7-9pm Open Bar party at Mullen's Restaurant and Bar in Lisle, IL. Hopefully you can join in the fun.

Updated Support Letter

2010-07-25T13:16:00.002-05:00

new support letter

Brazil Servant Team 2010

2010-07-19T22:52:00.002-05:00

I have been nearly silent on this blog for the last couple years but I would now like to announce the grand re-opening of unconventionalwisdom at blogger. That's right, my voice will once again be recorded on this site regularly. So get ready to hear about some awesome adventures.
July 6th I accepted an invitation to join the Brazil Servant Team with Word Made Flesh in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil from August 17-December 17th. That means I have a lot of preparations and not a lot of time. So far I have applied for a VISA though I haven't received any indicator yet that said VISA has been granted. I have tried to find a plan for managing student loans, car and credit card bills while away and unemployed. And lastly, I'm trying to make a plan for fund-raising.

Fund-raising is not that difficult but it does take some planning. For instance, I have had a list of places to call to see if any restaurants or bars could help with setting up parties where proceeds would go to Word Made Flesh. I have a support letter drafted but not yet finalized or distributed. I have plans to make little cards with my information and address for funds and care packages. Mentioned today was the idea of having a car wash...if you know anyone who could help to arrange this let me know.

I am going to post my support letter here and begin over the next two days to email it out to see what kind of initial response I am getting. Please send ideas and encouragement this way because planning to leave the country for four months as an adult (rather than as a student) is a bit challenging. Perhaps it would be more difficult if I had a house, kids, spouse, but one reason I don't have those things is because I want to be available to serve in the places God opens the door to, not excluding my backyard or the other side of the world.

Support letter, draft 1:

Oi Amigos e Familia,

Many of you may know that I moved back to the Wheaton, IL area in March 2009 and have been working as much as possible in hopes of being able to return to Brazil. I am excited to announce that the invitation to return has been extended and I will be returning to Rio de Janeiro this August.

Once again, I will be working with Word Made Flesh. They are an ecumenical community of Christians working and living among the most vulnerable of the world’s poor. The Word Made Flesh community in Rio targets women and children living in the favelas (shanty towns). “Our witness to the hope and transformation Christ brings is offered through ministries among the excluded and marginalized, especially children living on the streets. Our ministries include mentoring and modeling relationships, education and recreation programs, partnerships with local ministries and supporting the local church’s mission to be a light to the community and the world” (an excerpt from the Brazil vision statement).

This trip will be a time of intense exposure to one of the world’s poorest population. In the context of a dying world (both physically and spiritually), our team will be seeking God’s heart for the poor and how He would have us respond to the suffering of this world.

Many of you might be willing to go and serve alongside us if it were not for other responsibilities in your lives. So, I want to stress the important role you play back home. By giving financially and supporting me with your prayers, you are allowing families to be fed, clothed, and loved. No gift is too small. I cannot do this without your support, and Word Mad Flesh would not exist if it were not for the gifts of supporting people back home. I urge you to prayerfully consider what God has called you to give and partner with me as we follow His call.

I am responsible for raising $5200 by September 1. Already I have received

$1516. Above the program costs I am trying to raise additional funds to use to bless the missions community in Rio so they can continue to bless their neighbors ($650) and continue to make payments on my students loans while unemployed ($650). If you feel like God has called you to serve with financial gifts you can send checks to the Word Made Flesh office in Omaha (address on the next page) or to me personally. Please do not write my name in the memo line but do write my name on a separate paper attached to the check.

As I said, no gift is too small. To know that you are mindful of those serving among the poor is very encouraging to us. Please be prayerful of our travels, expenses, and that God would impart to us wisdom and sensitivity to His Spirit. Care packages can be sent to address on the back of this page. We always enjoy American junk food (not excluding Jiff peanut butter). Thank you for your time and concern. I look forward to sharing with you all that God will accomplish in the months to come!

Shalom,

Jen Pare

Addresses for sending support:

Word Made Flesh

P.O. Box 70

Omaha, NE 68101

Jen Pare

859 E Lawrence Ave

West Chicago, IL 60185

*before Aug 15

6012 73rd Street

Lubbock, TX 79424

*after Aug 15

Please post a comment or email me if you want my address in Brazil for sending letters or care packages.

Thanks for reading. Looking forward to your advice/suggestions/support!

Reaching Out

2010-07-13T19:58:00.002-05:00

"In our world full of strangers, estranged from their own past, culture and country, from their neighbors, friends and family, from their deepest self and their God, we witness a painful search for a hospitable place where life can be lived without fear and where community can be found. Although many, we might even say most, strangers in this world become easily the victim of a fearful hostility, it is possible for men and women and obligatory for Christians to offer an open and hospitable space where strangers can cast off their strangeness and become our fellow human beings. The movement from hostility to hospitality is hard and full of difficulties. Our society seems to be increasingly full of fearful, defensive, aggressive people anxiously clinging to their property and inclined to look at their surrounding world with suspicion, always expecting and enemy to suddenly appear, intrude and do harm. But still--that is our vocation: to convert the hostis into a hospes, the enemy into a guest and to create the free and fearless space where brotherhood and sisterhood can be formed and fully experienced."
-quoted from "Reaching Out: The three movements of the Spiritual Live" by Henri J. M. Nouwen

Untitled by pare.jennifer at Garmin Connect - Details

2010-07-01T09:50:00.000-05:00

Squaw Peak 50 by pare.jennifer at Garmin Connect - Details

squaw peak 50

2010-05-31T22:27:00.003-05:00

4 days 6 hours and 30 minutes until the race. I can't sleep. I've saved the details until this final week of preparations and now I'm worried. I'm also very excited BUT....

What does it take to train for a 50 mile race you may wonder. Lots of people ask me how many miles per week I run, what my longest training run has been, how I've prepared for the terrain and altitude. Every time I answer these questions I find myself a little nervous. I don't really know what I'm doing. I've never done any thing like this before and I've found that there is little detailed information on how to train for ultras. Well, that's not entirely true. There are lots of personal accounts of training but because each race is it's own event (unlike the standard road marathon) the training required would be very different for me living in flat lands training for a 50 mile mountain race then it would be for a Vail runner training for Badwater (super hot, dry 135 miler). So I've had to try to decide for myself what my training should require.

I needed to learn to climb. So I found Mount Hoy (Trashmore) and ran up and down 4-5 times twice a week. To put this route on a grander scale it would be like an elevation gain of 400-500' per mile. Come to find out the race will require me to scale 1,000' per mile miles on end. I'm not yet sure that I can do this. I did run on snow lots this winter and there is a good chance I'll encounter some snow along the course. It's been a couple months now but I should be okay in this respect. My trail shoes are fresh and comfortable. I have a couple pairs of back-up shoes though because my feet are worn out from the past 7 month of abuse. And as for endurance and distances, I ran the marathon distance two weekends in a row. The second weekend I participated at the Rockford Marathon instead of running my usual training trails. This race was suppose to be a confidence booster and it was in some regards. I proved to be better trained than for any of my previous marathon performances however my body had it's issues. I started out too fast even though I felt great. My digestion got all messed up and I had chills for more than half the race despite warm weather. I could have finished 13 minutes faster had I not had to stop for all the port-a-johns along the way. I wish I knew the cause of this ailment. Now I'm worried about what will happen along a 50 mile trail course if my body responds the same way.

There are so many variables when it comes to racing and the longer the race the more potential variables. I have prepared as well as I was able to and wanted to. I have been looking forward to this race since Dec. 1st when I mailed in my application. Now I'm left waiting for the clock to count down the final days and put up the best I have to give when the time comes. It would be nice if everything came together perfectly. If I have full energy, the weather is right, my brother can come and pace through the tough part, my dad can push me through the finish, and I can enjoy the feeling of giving it my all.

I leave for Utah on Wednesday after work. I expect to arrive in Denver by Thursday morning then complete the drive by Friday morning to Provo, UT. This won't leave enough time to acclimate but maybe I'll not suffer too badly. The race is from 5,000-9,000', only 3,000' above what I'm accustomed to. Updates from the race will be posted to my facebook wall. Please send encouraging words. I'm a bit stressed at this point.

Decisions

2010-05-18T10:51:00.002-05:00

I haven't made it public knowledge yet but I realize that by putting something on the Internet it is instantly public knowledge. What am I talking about? I've been offered a job with Outward Bound in the Florida/Alabama area. This would be a very enjoyable job but also a sizable pay cut. It's not like I'm making that much to begin with. I can't even afford to have an apartment right now. Everything I make gets tunneled into gas, food, and primarily student loans. By taking the new job I can realistically expect to get out of debt in 25 years. Not what I want to see happen. However, I have another option. On this other route it would only take me up to 5 years to pay off my debt and I could still afford to have my own place. The downside is I don't want the job. It's very stressful, limiting, and unfulfilling (at least for me). Could I last in an environment like this long enough for the benefit of being free from debt with any chance of former passion still intact? I'm being dramatic now. I hate big decisions. I want to do the right thing for me. I'm not even trying to be selfless this time, it's about me and my future.

I found something today while I was cleaning up from Christmas season 2008. I wrote on a church bulletin "Who doesn't trust in this $? Who doesn't work for $ so they can provide for themselves shelter, food, coverings, pleasures. No we make lifestyle choices because our faith is in $, not God. St. Francis woke up & realized that our lies are held captive to $. He gave wealth away & set his life to serve the poor and trusted God would sustain his life w/out $."

Thinking and praying, thinking and praying....

Last Segment of the Grand Illinois Trail

2010-04-15T21:51:00.000-05:00

Untitled by pare.jennifer at Garmin Connect - Details
Kim and I finally finished the Grand Illinois trail with this epic ride. We met a dog musher, a sniper, quick sand, river crossing, sun burn, head wind, bugs, and a glorious finale.

Running at Kettle Moraine SP

2010-04-15T21:44:00.000-05:00

Untitled by pare.jennifer at Garmin Connect - Details
This is a beautiful place. Pictures to be added later of my adventures.

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for the bike loop

2010-03-18T18:57:00.000-05:00

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for the Bike Loop

After work today I felt drawn to absorb as much glorious sunshine as possible. What better way is there then going for a nice long bike ride?

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for Untitled

2010-02-14T19:34:00.000-06:00

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for Lubbock Valentine's Day Run

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for Untitled

2010-01-07T10:20:00.000-06:00

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for Siberian Express

Check out my route thanks to Garmin from the Siberian Express near Danville, IL

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for Major Goolsby's Run into the New Year

2010-01-07T10:16:00.000-06:00

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for Major Goolsby's Run into the New Year

check out my data from the New Year's 5K

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for Chicago Golf Club

2009-11-25T13:57:00.001-06:00

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for Chicago Golf Club

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for Hot Chocolate 15K

2009-11-25T13:57:00.000-06:00

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for Hot Chocolate 15K

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for The North Face Eundurance Challenge

2009-11-25T13:56:00.000-06:00

Garmin Connect - Activity Details for The North Face Eundurance Challenge

The Big Training Run

2009-04-04T21:52:00.002-05:00

This is a personal recollection of pretty much everything I did in preparation for my 20 mile training run earlier today. Enjoy, I find it amusing. Running used to be very simple for me. Throw on some clothes and walk over to the nuclear assembly building that was home to LCU's recreation facility. Run for 30 minutes on a treadmill, use an elliptical/stair climber/stationary bike for 15-20 minutes and then walk back to my dorm feeling awful because I was so out of shape aerobically. Now I go through all this:

Last night I trimmed my toe nails and carb loaded with my favorite pasta and beverage and made sure to get some extra calories with Ben and Jerry. I made sure to get my beauty sleep and stayed in bed in and out of sleep until 11am. When I arose, I began guzzling water followed by consuming a 20g protein bar. Then was the stress of checking the weather and deciding what to wear. 5 years ago it would have been a t-shirt and a pair of generic basketball shorts. Now I have an overflowing box of technical wicking fabrics of all colors and from many events. I chose thigh length tights, asic warm-up pants (the ones I muddied yesterday on a 10 mile bike ride), and my OKC long sleeve tee. I chose thin double layer polyester blend socks, superfeet berry insoles, Asics gel Kayano sneaks, garmin 305 training partner, iPod, Cliff black cherry Shot Blocks, GU Roctane blueberry pomegranate and vanilla orange, ID and cell phone and of course a University of Texas hat to top things off. I applied Body Glide to shoulders, inner thighs (think Juno) and feet. I ate an English muffin with preserves and a glass of vanilla chai and soy protein. And as I finished my drink, mentally preparing, the time was coming. It was 12:40pm. 20 miles needed to be conquered.
I put my shoes on and fastened my Garmin watch. Something felt wrong with my shoes and it dawned on me as I stood outside stretching my calves, I had forgotten to put the superfeet in my shoes and I didn't have a sock liner in them yet either. Good thing I realized that before going anywhere. So I walked back in to correct that glitch. I went back outside powering on the training partner and realizing that the sun was out and as I began to jog away from the house, my cell phone and iPod bouncing in my asics pocket that I would do better with shorts on a day like today. So back I went into the house to put on shorts and repack my electronics and fuel into a waist pack (not to be mistaken for a fannie pack).
Now it was 1pm and I really needed to get going. So I did. I ran 5 miles to Caribou in Wheaton for some water and fuel. Then I ran 5 miles to I-355 and ate more fuel, without water (the fountains haven't been turned on yet). At mile 12, I really needed to find water so I made an unexpected stop at the Glen Elyn Starbucks. Then it was off to Wheaton to stop in at Caribou for the final H2O and fuel break at mile 15. I ran along Main in West Chicago across 59 to the Burger King because I learned years ago, in Manhattan, that you can find Dr. Pepper on fountain there, even in the North. Success. I arrived at BK right at 20 miles, got a large DP and called my Kansas City buddy Rachel because I first talked to her last year after my 20 miler.
Upon arriving at home, I put on a kettle of water to boil and located my Epsom salt. I was going to have a hot soak in the bath. Maybe I should have had an ice bath for inflammation but I was happier taking some meds for that and enjoying a pleasant bath. I drank more protein stuff and watched the ER finale while cooking some mashed potatoes.
Now I'll end my day reading some Theroux, hoping that my feet and knees will feel like working tomorrow. At least I'll be around people who know well the feeling of recovering from a difficult workout.

So yeah, that's how to run 20 miles. Now you try....

Darfur

2009-03-14T01:27:00.002-05:00

A friend of mine sent me an email yesterday. It's important. Please do what you feel you can.
Thanks!

Message from my friend:
Hi folks,

I received this message from a friend of mine from college. She is in Sudan with her husband teaching at a school. I don't like to forward anything, but given the situation that has been unfolding in the past few years in Darfur and now this new information from someone I trust, a firsthand source, I wanted to let anyone who might be interested know.

First hand account:
Hey everyone--

So sorry to do a horrible mass e-mail like this, but I think it is appropriate in this case.

I don't know how much any of you know or have followed the situation in d@rfur (<--I am writing it this way to avoid any searches on my e-mailings) or the events in Sud@n these last few days. The president of this country now has a warrant out for his arrest due to the events in the last few years in d@rfur. This happened a couple of days ago, and I don't know how much it has been in the news in the States, but it's kind of been the main thing here.

As a retaliation to this action, the government here has revoked the licenses of many aid/development organizations working here and sent all of their foreign staff out of the country and halted any and all of their aid efforts in d@rfur. This has caused several dear friends to leave the country, as well as several of my students at our school.

Even worse than that, it has made a desperate situation in d@rfur brought even more to the brink. Many MANY people (thousands upon thousands) living there are currently living in refugee camps that are supplied and run by these various aid organizations. They have now had supplies halted and been stripped of any communication items (radios, phones, computers, etc.). The people who returned to Kh@rtoum from there in these last couple of days are estimating that if nothing changes (that is if the government does not reinstate these aid groups or chooses to do nothing themselves, which is incredibly likely), that these camps will be out of food supplies in about 1 week and out of water in about 2 weeks. You will have tens of thousands of people on the western edge of this country simply being starved out in the desert or trying to move themselves across the desert to get out of the country.

Why am I writing to you? Because even though I am actually here in this country, I can do very little. I cannot post this on my blog and must be careful about the information that I pass along. I have no idea if this is even being reported on the news in the States. I know that the President of the US has contacted some organizations here to get information--but they are limited in the time and resources to get back to him before they themselves are forced to leave the country.

If you can and feel so compelled to do so, I would ask that you communicate with anyone and everyone you know who might be in a position to raise awareness about this--that could include your Congressman, Senator, Governor, local media, churches, and (long shot, I know), write to the President on the White House website, as I will be doing. Ask them to report on d@rfur and find out what is going on. The window of opportunity from this going from very very bad to absolutely worse is very short.

Please do not include my personal name if you forward this along to anyone else, but if someone wants to contact me, feel free to give them my e-mail.

Sorry to bug you with this if it's not something you're interested in--if you are interested, PLEASE make some noise about this in the next few days.

Thanks

job search

2009-03-06T11:15:00.005-06:00

During my nearly 20 hour drive from West Texas to West Chicago I did a lot of thinking. What else is there to do when you are stuck in a very small space for so long and are not allowed to sleep? One of the things I thought about was, what would be my dream job at this point? I have until October to find work and then I have something else figured out, but in the meantime I still have to pay on student loans and other minor expenses (you know like eating at least a couple times a day and the like).

So here's what I came up with...
I want to work in a big office building, in the basement, in a hamster wheel. I want to run on that wheel for 6.5 hours a day, 5 days a week at an average pace of 4.5mph. I want to be required to log the equivalent of 150 miles each week in order to receive $400 weekly for my efforts. This is my dream job. I could not complete these demands for more than a few months but right now, in this situation, this is what I want to do; to make me stronger and to lessen the impact of the millions of offices in this city (Chicago) by transferring my energy expenditure into a turbine system to power some of the electrical equipment used in the office building.

If there happens to be any organizations or university research projects currently experimenting with this technology and in need of another demented green athlete to power the experiment please feel free to pass my information along. Seriously, this is exactly what I want to do with my life right now.

Now please enjoy the mental image of me stuck in a hamster wheel full-time.

For Sale

2009-02-21T20:26:00.003-06:00

This is strange, I'm finally doing what I should have done a long time ago. Wait, I did, but then I got my own places and ruined everything.

What am I talking about?

Well, I've put an ad up on Craigslist trying to sell all my large possessions. Why? Because I'm a transient and transients cannot survive with masses of material belongings. I feel like I'm organizing an auction. Telling emailers and callers that I've got someone coming by at such and such time to look at that but if you can come sooner it's yours and I'll offer it to other people with these accessories before I can sell it to you at that price. You get the picture. I'm trying not to let my emotions get in the way of the selling of my stuff or any frustration from just buying most of this stuff a few months ago. How useless it all seems now. Well I have to check my email again. See if anyone wants to schedule a time to come by and look at my stuff.

Austin 1/2 marathon

2009-02-16T13:19:00.004-06:00

Yesterday I ran the Austin 1/2 marathon. Today I'm a little sore in the calves but otherwise I feel great. The course was gentle for the first 8 miles and from there it felt almost like mountain climbing between the exhaustion level and grade of incline. I finished in 2:12:37. My goal time was 2:15 so I did really well. My sights are now set to the Oklahoma City Marathon in April. Still considering doing another 1/2 marathon in March. We'll see.
I got new running shoes this weekend and am looking forward to taking them on a three mile run tomorrow.

lumbering through Lubbock

2009-02-06T19:23:00.003-06:00

These past two weekends I've been doing long runs in my hometown of Lubbock in the neighborhood where I grew up. The thoughts I have had while running 10 and 12 miles through this neighborhood are about the kids I played with in elementary school and intermediate school. I remember Kristen, Lance and Lauren, Maegan, 2 Megans, Ranee, Kathy, Nicole, Drew, Brittany, Tonya, Kayla, and others. I thought about all the days on my bike with friends in the neighborhood. I thought about piano lessons and how I would have always rather be roaming the neighborhood then inside practicing the piano regardless of how much talent I had. I remember taking the family dog Honey for walks and riding bikes where the Mormon temple now stands. I remember going to the Chevron station, which is now called Taylor, for Sprites because 1 in 7 won a free Sprite. I remember having so much fun. And today and last weekend I ran through these memories. I ran past the place where I learned to throw a football and hit a baseball. I ran past the ditch where I use to dig "caves" in and wade through run off water, I ran past the church where I belonged, I ran past roads and lots that were only dirt when I knew the neighborhood so well. I wonder how far I rode my bike on an average day? The distance was never something I would have thought about as a child. Except that one day when I joined my brother riding 20 miles for his boy scout badge. Outside of that I knew my boundaries were 82nd street to the south, 66th to the north (though Chevron was N of there), Frankfort to the East, and Iola to the West. This was my world for many years.

Now it's different, more developed, different families, and not really my home anymore. Well, I'm really tired. I just ate a high carb dinner. I took a long hot bath after the run. Before the run I tried a protein supplement for my first time. I think it gave me good energy. I will probably start doing more of these supplements because being a vegetarian sometimes I don't get much protein. Afterwords I had a high electrolyte drink mix. I feel a little sick and a little sore but tomorrow I think I will feel great. Maybe even good enough to go swimming before work.

Sunrise over the iconic view of the neighborhood

I hate the airline industry

2009-01-31T11:14:00.006-06:00

January 5th I flew to Portland. January 10th I flew back to Lubbock. January 15th I flew to Chicago. January 20th I flew back to Lubbock. I fly often and I've never received a free flight through frequent flier programs. I even fly internationally.
On the flight to Portland the first leg of the trip, from Lubbock to Dallas was delayed 5 hours. I only arrived 3 hours late to Portland but regardless it was a long day, 12 hours spent behind security checkpoints. I didn't write about the return flight so I can't specifically recall anything the airline messed up with. I do know that flying hurts by back so I had taken a muscle relaxer and felt like I was on a theme park ride over the Rockey Mountains stretching from Mt. Hood over Salt Lake, Fort Junction, and ending at Pike's Peak. The plane flew low for the size and distance and it was a perfectly clear day. The pilot was also great about announcing which mountains we would be able to see and which cities we would be going over. The only annoyance I had on this trip was with the cost of airport food.
On the flight to Chicago, the first leg I rode with my dad. The flight was a bit delayed. They had reassigned his flight without him knowing and at the last minute we realized and had the attendants switch it back. During out wait however there was a huge chess set with pieces more than 3' tall. We didn't have time to finish the game, which is a good thing actually. The jet bridge in Lubbock was broken and still appeared to be unfixed on the 20th when I came back through. This meant that we had to go down the stairs and across the tarmac to board the plane. Not an issue really for us but at least one of the passengers was in a wheel chair. Because of the short delay by the time we reached Dallas my next flight was already boarding so I had to hurry to the other terminal and get going. We made great time to Chicago, saving off more than an hour of flight time but we had to wait on the ground for 30 minutes for an open gate, then another hour to discover that the sky bridge had frozen to death. It was after all -10 degrees and mechanical errors must be more likely but to add to the issue, the people on the ground would spend 5 minutes outside then 15 inside warming up so there wasn't much ground assistance to further slow the process. Eventually the plane was pushed closer to the Jet Bridge and a makeshift bridge extender was erected for us to get safely into the airport. I was most troubled by this because I really had to use the bathroom. I didn't have any time in Dallas and didn't feel like crawling over the people sitting on my row during the flight. But after waiting so long, I finally disobeyed the seat belt lights tyring to control the disgruntled passengers, jumped luggage and took care of my business. Less upset after this annoyance was done away with.
On the final return flight, all was going well until Dallas. This was inauguration day and I had the benefit of being able to watch the balls while waiting through gate changes and delays. It was a really late flight in the first place, the last one out to Lubbock. There had been three gate changes and at one point the attendants started to board the plane and then mechanics sent the passengers back out because the plane had a broken armrest that was apparently a safety hazard. We patiently waited 40 minutes before being allowed to board again. This was a little twin prop airplane and we sat on the ground for what felt like 30 minutes warming up the engines and propellers. We started to taxi out to the runway and then at the last minute turned around. The passengers were informed that the pilot was already at 14+ hours and would timeout before arriving at out destination. There is an FAA regulation that pilots cannot work over 16 hours in a 24 hour time period. So we were brought back to the airport and given new flight assignments to go out the next day. We were given hotel vouchers for a hotel suite bigger than my apartment and $10 of airport money for any food place. I was scheduled for the first flight out to Lubbock that next morning and didn't get more than 4 hours in my hotel room that night. Once arriving in Lubbock my luggage didn't arrive with me. Here I am very mad. I give the attendants my information and they give me a number to call to see if it has been located. I call when they tell me to a few hours later and the automated voice says that my stuff is not yet located. Thankfully, sometime that night while I'm at work I receive a message from my dad that it has been delivered to their house. So there was finally resolution to the awful ordeal.
I hate the airline industry. But at least I didn't have this happen to my flight: This was a FedEx crash at the Lubbock airport January 27th at 4:30AM. The 27th was an icy day much like the 5th, when I flew to Portland. At least I haven't had to land in Lubbock on a really icy day. One more reason to stay in town for a while. I gave my car a wash yesterday. It is a trusty vehicle that doesn't leave the ground the the only delays are caused by me. I can handle that.

Running in Chicagoland

2009-01-31T10:48:00.003-06:00

Brrr...
I had to choose the coldest week in years to visit my home in Chicago. The day I flew in it was -1 as a high I think and -13 as the low. Two days later the when I headed out for my scheduled 9 mile run it was 12 degrees and perfect. I strapped on my YakTraks and pulled on some snow pants with gaiters over my fleece lined running tights. The intention was to get dropped off at the 0 mile mark on the Prairie Path from Wheaton and run 4 1/2 miles out and back but after just minutes I decided that the snow was too deep and the run would be impossible so I aborted that plan at Washington in Wheaton just West of Wheaton College. After running around the college I decided to run to Caribou Coffee for some water and made a new plan to run back to the house were I was staying from there. Once getting to Caribou and recognizing lots of people I wanted to return after each three mile loop and that's exactly what I did. The first loop was to the East. The second loop was to the South West attempting to run past Casa de la Sol, my first residence, but the road was blocked for me by a busted water pipe. I accidentally stepped into it and felt my foot getting wet. I was terrified that the run would have to be over after such an accident. But not even half a mile later, it didn't feel wet anymore. So I continued. The third loop was to the North around Northside Park and back. I forgot to turn the GPS on a couple times but am confident on the achieved distance. After the run I felt fantastic. Lots of energy and a great mood. My joints didn't hurt, I wasn't cold, my stomach was normal the whole time. This was a rare thing for me. Normally after long runs I'm messed up for the rest of the day. I ran slower on the snow and ice and maybe this is why it was so easy to recover. Not sure but I was very thankful for this amazing run and the friends and places I saw along the way.

Running in Oregon

2009-01-27T10:45:00.002-06:00

Well, it seems like I'm failing this running blog once again. I was hoping to document several of my long runs during this training season leading up to the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon April 26th.
On January 7, 2009 I was in Portland, Oregon and scheduled for a 6 mile run. I didn't yet have my GPS or any good way to judge distance on the particular run that I decided on. On that morning I dressed warm for the chilly (53 degrees) damp day with enough money to ride the MAX to it's northern most stop, the Expo Center. From there I found, with some trial and error, the bike path that wove up and under a few twisty ramps to I-5 and then ran alongside the interstate over the Columbia river, some island, and split on the banks of Vancouver, Washington. The bridge itself was probably 1.5-2 miles, the winding path to get on the interstate was at least a mile and once I got to the other side I ran through a very pleasantly surprising place, the Vancouver National Historic Site, this area was probably a mile also. All in all I estimate that I ran 7+ miles on this untested course. At the very end, last mile or so, it began to really rain so I sprinted the last 1/2 mile to the covered train station. From Vancouver I picked up a Real Estate Book for my dad and it is curled like a baton and shows the water spots from the rain I encountered. All in all this was a glorious run and it was the second time I ran over a state line. This time, however, it was my first time ever in Washington. So from now on I can boast that the first time I was every in Washington, I ran there. Sweet!

Things I've Done...

2008-12-11T19:15:00.001-06:00

Julie posted this on her blog today recently, as did Karen so I will too. The things in bold are the things I have done. If you want to play, copy the list to your blog and bold the things you have done. Leave a comment if you do it so I can read it. :)

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (drums)
4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland (only DisneyWorld)
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped (are you crazy!!)
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (only a small day cruise)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa (I want to…)
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance (in Rio de Janeiro)
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business (a pretend one in Small Business Management class.....)
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma (I've tried many times)
65. Gone sky diving (see bunge jumping above....)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury (almost - my number was too high so I didn't have to report....)

91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake (when I was 12 or so and the lake was awesome...)
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a mobile phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day (if children's books count?, jk)

normal or uncommon

2008-12-11T18:21:00.002-06:00

There is a quote I found recently that states, "Perhaps, there is no more dangerous place for a Christian to be then in safety and comfort, detached from the suffering of others." This quote was attributed to Shane Claiborne's mom in "Jesus for President." I love it because it seems SO true.

I'm in a place of limbo. I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing. I've arrived at a career that I love at a place that I love. I love where I live (the apartment, not the city) and how I feel right now. I can make payments on loans and I can handle this. But as much as I feel like I'm doing what I want to be doing I recognize equally that I'm not doing what I want and I'm not where I ultimately want to be. This is good for now, this is easy and it's comfortable. And I'm tempted, sometimes, to ask for more time here. To be responsible and pay off my college loans on my own, little by little. I'm especially tempted at times to make compromises of my intended vocation in order to settle down a bit. Have a real life with real people instead of the unending transient existence.

But today, again, I chose to take the lonely uncommon path to be single and to pursue another lifestyle. I felt a little like I could relate to the story where Jesus had to say to Paul, "Get behind me, Satan" because it was oh so tempting to change the trajectory of my life to follow a person I have loved dearly. But God, it seems, has uncommon intentions for my life. So I kept my impulses at bay and bravely stood my ground as an easier life beckoned for me to accept. I may be insignificant and frail but an easy, comfortable, common life does not belong to me. Hopefully, I will continue to persevere and accept my vocation.

I am running again. This is uncomfortable and proves to be a great exercise of discipline and perseverance. I intend to run a 4 mile race this Saturday and if the next week of endurance runs (up to 8 miles) goes well, for Christmas I will enter myself in the Austin 1/2 marathon and the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon. I will begin an 18 week training regimen Christmas week. And perhaps this go-round I'll blog more about my experiences running.

For me, running is a blessing. I believe that I shouldn't be able to run, but I do because it represents a tangible process of sanctification. I feel myself being conquered and reformed. I feel myself surrendering to my frailty and pushing beyond what I should be able to do and this makes me rejoice and find renewed strength. I love to run. Running is prayer.

Where am I?

2008-11-23T17:59:00.003-06:00

It's just a few short days from my birthday and I'm getting stressed thinking about having to decide what I want to do/get/eat. Tonight my best friend is taking me out to dinner. Wednesday my family is offering me dinner. That means I have to choose two restaurants in Lubbock that I'd be willing to enjoy. And it dawns on me just how much I miss Chicago. Every restaurant in Lubbock is the same. Hamburger, steak, or Bar-b-q. I hate them all. The pubs are only about cheap domestic beer, the sandwich shops have never heard of bean sprouts, avocado, spinach, and all the other delicious veggie concoctions. The mexican food places are texmex which is great flavor but I can never be sure that it's actually vegitarian. How can you be healthy without meat? my family wonders. They insist that I get blood work done soon to insure that I'm not anemic. I am certain that I am healthy and getting better protein and iron then they ever have.

I crave Uncommonground Cafe on Clark street in Chicago. I want a treetini and veggichili. I want avocado bruschetta and tofu Benedict from Earwax Cafe on Damen. I want to have access to Somali, Vietnamese, Arabian, and Indian food all within walking distance. I want a delicious mushroom shaped pizza from Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinders. I almost wish I wasn't a vegetarian so I could have fish n' chips the Grafton Pub while enjoying the warmth and comfort of the plush couches and corner fireplace. I wish I could have Caribou Coffee, Trader Joes, and Whole Foods. I would even like McDonald's cousin, Chipotle for a filling of black beans, four types of hot salsa, and guacamole. Any of these tasty small places will meet my craving. Most of all I want to take my jeep Clayton into the intercity of Chicago, slowly maneuvering narrow streets, avoiding pedestrians with a few like-minded friends who accept me and don't want to change me. I want to enjoy their conversation. I want to be the master of their adventure. I don't want to be confined to a homogeneous town of 200,000 ultra conservative agricultural offspring. I want to be surrounded by people from all of the nations, speaking every conceivable language, belonging to a myriad of cultures, and living at peace as neighbors. This is part of what Chicago means to me and I miss it like crazy. I want to cold, the snow, the exercise, the trails, the train, traffic, and the three-fold community I once belonged to (school, work, church/faith). I am a foreigner in my hometown. I enjoy the work I do here but life is taxing as it is in another country. I belonged to the Chicago culture even though I was born a couple thousand miles away. Okay, it's time to put on a smile and get ready to meet my best friend. I love her, she loves me, it's just different now.

Fall

2008-10-30T21:07:00.003-05:00

Photos from Late October mostly at a park near my home.

This is the Cheap gas station. I'm pleased to see cheaper gas, part of what spurred me to travel to Kansas City this weekend.
My very own apartment.

the latest

2008-10-30T20:47:00.003-05:00

As is my usual, it's been a while since I've written in this place.
I've been a lot of places and seen a lot of people since my last entry. Today I started listening to the audio book, "Eat, Pray, Love" one of my favorites from the reading spree I took while in Rio. I'll be driving up to Kansas City tomorrow and the book should keep me entertained well. I love the story and her soul journey. She gives vocab to some of my experiences and she even has a bit of drama surrounding a David.
I've been on a bit of a soul journey myself beginning about a month ago while in Venezuela visiting the InnerCHANGE folks. In such a spiritually influenced place God's voice was impossible to ignore on a few specific instances. I was awakened to a new reality in the world, or at least a better understanding of a reality and then I was blessed in a unique way. But after a short visit of ten days I returned to face the storm that generally awaits a young adult returning after years of absence to her childhood hometown. Many people have welcomed me back with open arms, even people whom I didn't expect.
But even if I have received a warm welcome I still do not have friends. Maybe I have two friends but one is married and one causes me such great anxiety I would rather not go there most of the time regardless of how lonely I find myself. The goal at this point is either to make a new friend whom I have no previous history with and whom I do not work with OR to come to such a place of peace and inner joy that I can be completely content coming home to my empty and quiet apartment and being alone.
I do not like being alone or not doing anything. Hence going out of town to KC when all I have off is 2 1/2 days because I cannot bear the thought of sitting at home not doing anything for that long. I'm even leaving Lubbock for the Tech/Texas game. It's a big game this year as everyone I'm sure already knows. I don't have the money to leave either but I'm looking forward to seeing my friends from this summer.
Work is going well and the back is doing better day by day. So well in fact that I probably will not be able to have a surgery before leaving for Venezuela sometime in the upcoming months. Either way, I feel glad to be playing football and soccer with the residents and have even tried running a few times but max out in strength at about 3 miles.
This was a fairly useless blog posting I guess. Just a bit of an update as to where I am and what's more or less going on in my life. Expect photos to appear as I've gotten a new camera and have gone for nature walks through the concrete jungle that is home. Some have turned out pretty good. But I'll let you be the judge.
paz

unexpected

2008-09-12T21:47:00.003-05:00

Well yesterday was a bit of a crazy day for a couple reasons. Yesterday Lubbock was declared in a state of emergency for flooding and achieved an all time record for rain fall in a 24 hour period of time. I don't know what the final count was but at the 9pm news that I caught while visiting my parent's house we were already over 6" and a stronger storm cell was still moving over. The roads were amazing. Cars stalled out all over the place and several inches of water covering especially the the far right lanes. Here's the thing with Lubbock, it's in the middle of the plains and this part of the south plains is about as flat as any place in the world it's also incredibly dry (most of the time). So when the rain falls the only place for water to collect is in the roads. We also don't have lakes or rivers to transport rainwater elsewhere so 6" becomes a disaster. At least most people don't have basements that so easily flood, unlike in the north. I went to Wal-Mart this afternoon to find cheap furniture and 75% of their parking lot was more then 4" submerged. Amazing. To add to things, yesterday was the 3rd or 4th consecutive day of rain and though it didn't rain much today we have high chances of rain over the next couple days. So chances are we'll stay flooded for a while.

The second crazy thing to happen yesterday was I got a promotion at work. I had an evaluation scheduled with my supervisors (the administrators at the shelter) and had been preparing myself all day for a bit of a gripe session of them calling me out on slacking (they have video cameras everywhere so nothing I do goes unnoticed). As I sat down they opened the floor up for me to make suggestions, since I had worked there a couple years ago, to make comments of current employees or just how I felt everything was going. I gave my concerns about lack of training, leaderships,for a person with additional training to be shift leader keeping everyone on task and coordinating on the job training. They offered me the job. Easy as that. How do I always find myself in positions of leadership? It stresses me out but lets be honest, I secretly enjoy the work load and responsibility.

Today was less exciting. A bit of a soul searching day. No work just a meeting to pick up a paycheck and my new position was announced to the group. I will start that on Monday. After the meeting I came home to work on the apartment a little bit, eat queso, then I found myself doing some serious prayer time. I think I'm ready for surgery, disk replacement, if my PCP will recommend that to the insurance.

I really do love my life. Even if I have down moments or bad news, the overall thread of my life is adventure and joy. I'm bothered but not destroyed at the moment and that's okay. I've been in this place before. It's all part of starting over in a new (or old) place.

I know very few people actually read this but it helps me to process through writing and I like to have a record of life. The Internet just makes that easier.

home...

2008-09-11T00:02:00.004-05:00

Well Lubbock, you got me back. I hope you're proud. You suckered another one who went away back into your limits.

I've been back in this city for 3 full weeks now. In that time I have returned to my old job at the Children's Shelter working too hard for too little pay, I have gotten all but kicked out of my parent's house for being me, settled into an efficiency apartment, seen the Physical Therapist 8 times, gotten an MRI, seen my primary doctor and an orthopedic surgeon, and put in four applications for part time work at coffee shops just to make ends meet with this Master's degree load of loans.
I'm exhausted and frustrated. I'm lonely and not interested in going out much. My personal pace is slower probably because of the back so I feel like even though I don't go to work until 3pm everyday I never can managed to get the things done that I really want to.

Yesterday the bad news about my medical condition hit me over the head like a ton of bricks. I was left feeling more alone then ever. I cried when I got to my car realizing that the rest of my life will be affected my this condition. Here's what I know, L4 (second to lowest disk) is arthritic. L5 (lowest disk) is desiccated (dried up, shriveled, and dead) and additionally L5 has a paracentral disk protrusion more commonly referred to as a bulging disk. My PCP has made a note on the MRI report to refer me to a neurosurgeon. I haven't gotten to meet with him directly yet.

I'm not as down as this report may sound. I just don't have good words to describe how I feel. In part I wonder why my body has betrayed me. Why my back acts like I'm 60+ while in reality I'm just a kid, just 22. I wonder what God is up to. Doesn't he want me to be healthy and go to Latin America and serve? I wonder why He has allowed this and how it will impact the work that I will be able to do. I wonder also what blessings may come through this "limitation." What people now will I be able to identify with? What new forms of relating or working will I develop to compensate?
It's true that I am sad. But I'm not mad. I am frustrated. But I'm also mostly just wondering about my future and how this changes things. I'm thinking a lot about the future as I try to decide what type of surgery I should get and if I should try to wait or just go for it. I'm thinking a lot about running. Do I want to try to run one more long race before I completely loose that ability or will it just rush in the inevitable "next flair-up" that will be 100X worse than the past one. And in this place of wondering I will remain for a while and at least until Tuesday when I again meet with my primary doctor who will make recommendations on my next steps.

I appreciate prayers but I already know my life is cradled in God's hands and I have nothing to fear. My life is His and not my own. May these things be according to His will. Blessings and peace to you my friends.

Now What?

2008-08-23T12:22:00.002-05:00

I again return to mirror the patterns of the boomerang generation of which I belong. Meaning, I'm inhabiting the room where I lived for 13 years of my childhood just a few yards from the room where my parents sleep. Yup, I'm living under my parents roof again. Why am I here I wonder? I don't have a job. I've been surviving with my back and it seems to be healing on its own without medical attention. I don't have more then two friends here it seems. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't have an immediate plan. Sure I have my more long-term plan in place. I know where I want to go, who I want to work with. I have my application all in order and communications beginning in that department but even that has been put on hold and outside of my control.

So what am I doing with myself now that I have finally come to a place in life where I have no responsibilities (oh I still have financial responsibilities but that's a bit different then taking care of kids or classes)? At this very moment I find myself sitting in a chair where I've sat many times before at the most chic/trendy coffee shop in this medium-sized college town where I was raised being bombarded by noise from a local jazz band. The music isn't bad, I just had come here for respite from the confusion of home only to be met by a bad too loud for this small venue and lots of college kids some of whom I vaguely recognize talking about the boys now at LCU and what they are doing and what kinds of guys they want to date and what types of weddings they want and all the things that sound completely ridiculous to me now. No, I don't think I'm too good for these conversations, honestly I think I'm just lonely and out of my element.

How does a person become a foreigner in their hometown anyway? I've only been away for just over two years. But my personal culture and world-view began to change long before I moved away. I knew from a very young age that I wanted to move away. In elementary school I knew I wanted to move to Colorado or someplace beautiful like that to enjoy the mountains and be secluded from all kinds of people. But as I grew up I never became the homebody-type that would enjoy living in solitude in the mountains. In high school my identity began to change in such a way that I felt distanced from people and like I couldn't be understood. My experiences were unique but so are the experiences of every other person who has ever lived. These things perhaps I didn't so much recognize at that age like I do now at least a little bit better. Either way, I was free after that point to develop understandings and beliefs somewhat independent from my peers. Peer pressure was an issue for me in many ways but at the same time, my identity was not completely dependent on what others thought of me or how well liked I was. What a blessing it was to have that stability going through college. Those were formative years for me especially as I traveled to far off places like China and took epic adventures with friends into New Mexico.

After three years of college I finally moved from my hometown not to the mountainous lands of Colorado but instead deep into the mid-west, the great windy city (less windy then Lubbock) Chicago. The Wheaton grad school attracted people from all over the world like Russia, China, India, Rwanda, Australia, Togo, Bolivia, Uruguay, Peru, and from every corner of the US. Those of us from the US were interested in being scattered to the far reaches of the world also. What a beautiful place to fellowship and grow. I am so grateful for this time of training among so many diverse and yet similarly-minded followers of Christ. What each of us had in common was a desire to glorify God completely with our lives wherever He may choose to send us or return us. I have never been understood so well or when my opinions where different from those I was around I have never been so well listened to and respected.

And from that nurturing environment I have returned home. Now what?

Goals Revisited

2008-08-17T09:24:00.005-05:00

A year ago I posted a list of goals to accomplish is life. I've had some interesting experiences over the last year and have a bit of a different perspective on what I really need to do verses what would make for interesting experiences to tell the grandchildren or whatever. So read on for the actual posting last year and at the end I'll create a new list of goals and a bit of a commentary on what things I have actually accomplished this year.

Friday, May 25, 2007
Life Goals
A couple years ago a friend told me about a list of things he wanted to do in his lifetime. He wrote it while he was in high school and by this point he had graduated college and realized his time was running out to accomplish some of the things on his list before the strains of adult life held fast their unrelenting hold on him. The most remarkable thing on his list was to run a marathon. This man was at least a hundred pounds away from running a marathon but that didn't stop him, it actually became greater motivation. He inspired me to come up with my own list. Now two years later I think I'm finally ready to give this list a try.

Life Goals:
1. Hike the entire Appalachian Trail
2. Run a Marathon
3. Spend a minimum of 8 years in another country
4. Adopt children
5. Write a book

Now we all know that dreaming about doing things is not enough. Unless we make concrete efforts to accomplish goals they will never get themselves done.
So here's where I'm at in accomplishing each of these things:
1. Looks like I'll begin preparing to make the voyage across 14 eastern states from March-September 2009.
2. I'm trying to run 2-3 times a week to maintain current shape but have not selected a marathon or year.
3. Preparing to work on a Servant Team with Word Made Flesh this fall to see if WMF would be an organization that I could serve with for many years.
4. I know that I want a boy from Africa and a girl from South East Asia but I'm single and in a transitional stage in life so I am not prepared to have kids of my own yet. I would prefer to wait until I'm married and plan to live in one place for several years before beginning the adoption process.
5. I have an outline for the book I want to write. I plan to work on the majority of it after graduation from Wheaton while working in Lubbock. Some before the AT and finishing after just before going overseas long-term. Approx. date of release: 2011.

There, that was a fun exercise. I'll come back to this in a year and see what kind of progress has been made. You should come up with a life goals list as well. No matter how young or old you are goals and very good to motivate us to constantly better ourselves and benefit the world we live in.

blessings,
jp

Alrighty, Well I ran the Traverse City Bayshore Marathon on May 24th 2008 and finished right at 5 hours. My goal was to finish in five hours and that I did.
I have not continued plans for the AT or made any significant headway on writing a book but I'm thinking I need to get busy with that because I'm headed overseas sometime in the next year guaranteed. I still have the book's outline saved on my computer somewhere but it probably hasn't been opened in nearly a year. I did write that I was planning on serving on a servant team with Word Made Flesh. I went with them to Rio de Janeiro. As far as adopting children goes I might just be happy unofficially taking kids in from the barrio or favela wherever I find myself living and working. These will be my kids and I don't have to be married to have and take care of them.

My goals now are to get a pet and be healthy again.
Last night I had other goals in mind that I wanted to write about but I've already forgot what they were so I guess they weren't that impressive or important.

9/10- I remembered what one of the other "original" updated goals was: have an avocado tree. I guess that can replace the have a pet goal. I want an avocado tree and to be healthy. Unfortunately I just learned that I'm never going to be healthy in the sense that I meant ever again. boo, sad day.

Road Trip Path, kinda

2008-08-11T15:29:00.005-05:00

View Larger Map
So this is the basic trajectory that I plan to take over the next couple weeks. Right now I'm in Eagan, MN. Tomorrow I'll be in Minneapolis. Wednesday I'll make my way to the western suburbs of Chi-town. I don't have any dates for the other places just yet.

Packing up, again

2008-08-07T13:44:00.002-05:00

I don't have anything profound to write about today I just find myself in that strange tension and knotted anxiety again at the cliff of another relocation. It seems that the chapters in the book of my life do not last very long which is sad because apparently I have a way about me of developing really deep relationships and connections with people fairly quickly. Today I have been frantically pacing the church that we have called homebase for YouthWorks! over the past 2 1/2 months taking what things I can down and making list after list of things that I cannot forget to do while at the same time desperately wanting an excuse to stop, breath easy for a few minutes and realize what is most important, that being respectful to the people we work with and among. I don't know really what will be next for me. I know that I will have some much needed doctors visits to schedule and some job options to weigh out. But before I can even get there I have some soul searching to do that will stretch me the geographical distances of Minneapolis to Chicago back through Kansas City, Hope(fully) into Arkansas, and eventually winding my way back to the place of my origin, Texas. Anything could happen along the way. This will be my longest (miles and days) solo road trip and I do expect to experience some physical discomfort from the back injury and wont be able to take medication for it because I'll be driving, but otherwise it should be a good change of pace from this 24/7 gig I've been working the past couple months. I know lots of my friends are also experiencing major changes in their lives and I'm not alone in this soul searching scavenger hunt across spiritual and physical distances but nevertheless this will be a unique time in my life. The journey begins August 12. I move from Kansas City on August 10th and expect to arrive in Lubbock by September 1st. Don't expect any blogging between now and then.

death and humilty

2008-06-22T23:26:00.004-05:00

June 21, 2008
Shawnee, KS
I’ve not been contributing very much or very deeply to my blog in a very long time and earlier today I felt the urge to give it a try so we will see what comes out in this computer session as I drink my orange cream slush from sonic and sit at the dinning room table at the pastor’s house from the church who is hosting YouthWorks! in Kansas City. This weekend we are sleeping in real beds instead of our usual air mattresses and taking showers when we want and we even have access to washer and dryer and TV and real couches. What a wonderful weekend it has been. The carpet feels so good on our bare feet and the atmosphere of being in a real house instead of a shared space is wonderful. Don’t get me wrong, the church where we live is wonderful also, but there are some comforts at home that we still enjoy. Not personally paying rent, utilities, food, and all those other things is also wonderful but our arrangements have other costs. Like working 24/5 ½ (meaning 24 hours a day for 5 and ½ days strait without a break). And even on the weekends we have some constraints, it’s not like we can just resume normal life entirely. And all these things are okay. I like my job. It’s tough but it’s good. What does suffering produce? Perseverance. And what does perseverance produce? Hope that does not fail us. I’ve reached the realization of perseverance at this point but I’m still working towards hope.
Let me take a moment to explain a bit about what I’m doing. For those who are just looking for ways to waste their lives away on the Internet, check out youthworks.com. For others who just want a quick description, I work for YouthWorks!, inc. and they are a missions organization that exists to provide Christ-centered, transformational mission experiences for teenagers. I am the Site Director for their new Kansas City site. We are located in Westport, the Volker neighborhood at a wonderfully hospitable (as evidenced by the pastor letting us use their house) Lutheran church. Each Sunday evening 50-75 youth show up and we keep them until Friday morning doing service type projects, worshiping, eating, sleeping, and seeing various parts of the city. Some of the places we send them are Kansas City Rescue Mission, Northland Neighborhoods, Metro Lutheran Services, Catholic Charities, Operation Breakthrough, Mission Adelante, Clara Manor Nursing Home, Harvesters, Kansas City Community Gardens, and others. Ask if you have more questions about what we do. Now back to my story.
On May 24th I ran a marathon. I felt on top of the world. Moving to a new place (I love traveling and the idea of new starts) and starting a new job had me very excited but at the same time a bit mournful of loosing the community I had built up while attending grad school in Wheaton, IL. I had not expected to grow so close to so many people in such a short time. But the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. And this was one of those times. Running the marathon seemed to be proving to myself that I could do anything I set my mind to. Originally I had seen running distance as something I could only accomplish through the aid of God. I didn’t think I would ever have the strength to complete such a thing on my own and during all my training runs I heavily relied on prayer and meditation on the supplication of God but during the marathon no such meditation took place. I ran all 26.2 of those miles by my own determination. I couldn’t focus on God with all those people running around me. I had a couple wonderful conversations along the way that were the main source of my fuel. And afterwards I felt better that if I had just run 9 or 10 miles. I was still jumping around. I could have turned around and run another ½ marathon at least. It was a wonderful feeling of power and accomplishment. Except that I had done it all on my own and I realized that right away. And I wasn’t as ecstatic about my run because I couldn’t appreciate God’s companionship along the way. I couldn’t reflect on mile 8 when God showed me the bay and sent the breeze and whispered gently into my ear all the wonderful ways he created me and the beauty he created in this place. Instead all I remember is being bored and strong on my own.
At RAMP (the YouthWorks! training week in Minneapolis) I remember praying for death again and I know I have not written the promised blog about why I meditate on death and what that means to me but I’ll summarize that now. When I ran 15, 18, and 20 mile training runs I would meditate on death. Death of the sort that baptism represents as well as the death I survived during my bleak and painful high school years. I learned years ago that my life would have no significance if lived outside of the will of God. Though not knowing exactly what it would mean to live according to God’s will, I knew that I had to die to my whims, my desires, and my ambitions. Instead I had to learn what God desired of his followers. I had to learn what it would mean to allow God to transform me and begin the process of perfection. And as I figured bits of this out I learned that the life where I choose yes to God and no to my ambitions was so much more wonderful and exciting then I could have ever envisioned for myself. Years later I have learned to pray that I die so that Christ can live through my body, that I can more and more fully be a body that Christ uses in this world to spread love and peace and advance his kingdom. But it’s hard to live like that all the time. There are lots of times where I would rather just look out for myself and use my money the way I want to or my time the way that would be most comfortable for me. But I desire above anything else to be completely God’s instrument.
Back to RAMP, I was praying to be set back on this path of being God’s servant and all and was feeling myself slip more and more into selfish decisions and was very frustrated about where my mind was during the marathon. On Thursday morning I was reflecting on how I was leading my new staff team and wrote in my journal these words, “Lord, break me down. Teach me humility. I choose to die to myself and be a life for you today. Make my body your instrument of love and peace. Work your will through my life. Transform my staff and myself. Today I choose death. Show me how to live.” Before I move on to the next exciting part of the story I want to jump back to February or sometime around there. We were playing with sticky sticks or whatever they are called (colorful sticky wand-like things that you can affix to stuff) in my Holy Spirit and mission class and we were supposed to design them in a way that reflected the way we saw the Holy Spirit involved in our lives. I created a girl running and this wind like thing that was all around but never intersected with the running girl. Basically I described it as myself running both physically and metaphorically and not actually feeling God involved with any of it. In years past I have felt very close to God but since this fall while I Rio I have not had that close communion with God that I used to enjoy and even rely on.
Back to that day at RAMP. In a matter of hours after writing that prayer I found myself in a lot of pain. I went to the bathroom then couldn’t really stand up off the toilet. Somehow I pulled myself up along the wall and slowly pulled myself out of that awkward position into a more heavily trafficked room where I was spotted by a couple people digging a dinosaur out of a clay egg. So they sat in the hallway with me for a while digging the dino out and that kept me company while I tried to figure out what to do with my pathetic self. After a while I had an informal meeting with one of the regional directors about potential ministry sites. She witnessed this miserable situation and didn’t have a whole lot of advice to offer. So I called the parents and other trusted friends who knew of my previous back disaster day 4 in Rio de Janeiro. Basically the same thing happed there. Just couldn’t stand up any more. Hurt, a lot.
So I went to the hospital and God rendered me helpless for the next week or so. Couldn’t walk much, couldn’t lift nothin’, couldn’t really do my job. I felt pathetic, miserable, frustrated. Humbled. I began to see God intervening, answering my prayer. I am still acting very selfish in my leadership. I still don’t understand how I can be a servant leader in this position. I still am frustrated with my situation of helplessness. I can do more now but maybe I shouldn’t be doing as much as I am. I don’t really know what God is trying to teach me and so I’m figuring I’ll have more of these tough lessons to learn. This past Thursday I began hurting again after a couple of weeks of feeling nearly better. Today especially I’m having a hard time standing up again. So I don’t know what the rest of the summer will look like or what will happen after this summer if I make it that far all I know is what is right now. And this simple vision of the current moment may itself be a lesson of God’s.
Thanks for reading about my struggles and the lessons I’m struggling to learn. I think I’m going to go enjoy some pizzookie with my team. Pizzookie for you who don’t know is like a pizza cookie with cookie dough cooked about five minutes and a pint of ice cream on top. Today’s flavors are Snickerdoodle cookie dough with Blue Bell Moo-llineum crunch on top. Yum… I think that’s enough of my thoughts for now. Thanks for reading all two of you who make it to the end. Leave some love.

Booneville, AR

2008-06-07T18:07:00.003-05:00

So much for writing a string of blogs on running this spring. I'll get back to what I was going to write about death and running at some point but for now I wanted to give just a quick update on where I'm living and what's going on with all that.

I realize that I've moved more than 10 times in the past five years and that is OUT of CONTROL! So right now I'm in Booneville, AR. I've been living in Kansas City, MO for a week. The week before that I was training in Minneapolis, MN. The weekend before that I was moving away from Plano and West Chicago, IL and running a marathon in Traverse City, MI. This has been a CRAZY two weeks. I have gone from running 26.2 miles to being confined to a wheelchair five days later.

Another crazy thing that happened recently included trying to send a fax out of Kinko's in KC on Friday and I met a guy named Cody who was waiting on me to get done sending the fax so he could receive a fax. We talked. He labeled me a transient. What does that even mean? that I'm not committed, not deep, I'm into experiences more than I am to people, that I'm like the man in "Into the Wild?" But maybe it's true. I do love moving and traveling about. Meeting as many people in as many places as possible.

This is long overdue

2008-04-24T12:15:00.002-05:00

So it looks like from my blog I've been traveling home from Brazil for over four months. The truth is(n't) I traded my international flight for a 150cc Brazilian motorcycle and have been struggling with intra-continental travel since mid December. My family got concerned when Christmas rolled around and I wasn't' there. The debt collectors got concerned in January when my student loans went from repayment to default status and I got concerned when I realized at this rate I would be making better time running the last leg of the journey from Mexico to Chicago then trying to keep the bike in functioning condition. So that's what I'm doing these days. This past Saturday I had an amazing 18 mile run. And if 18 miles in one day is better distance then riding the motorcycle you can only imagine what these past four months have been like. But it is true, I missed the snowy winter Chicago is said to have had this year.

The truth is this has been quite a busy semester. Not so turbulent in the realm of culture shock as I had initially expected but none the less there have been many adjustments to be made. Looking back I thick my disposition fits better with the rhythm of Latin America. This may come as a shock to many of you who know me well and think I thrive on business and unplanned obligations. My rhythm didn't exactly match Brazil's but they were complementary like breaking 4/4 time into triplet quarter notes. It becomes something like Bosa Nova and is totally groovy. So I grooved in Brazil and now that I'm still plowing through this semester at breakneck speed and intensity I am really craving a groove. Here's the deal though, in one week all my class work must be completed. So if I can handle to demands of academia on top of all other life obligations for one more week I'll be free finally to pursue a new rhythm of life.

A refresher course on the recent history of my life just for reflection's and procrastination's sake: Spring of 2007 I attempted a hunger project in which I ate little more then Breedlove dehydrated soup (stuff that USAID uses for international relief aid). This project began to cultivate within me an increasing brokenness for the plight of the poor in the majority world.
The summer of 2007 I embraced voluntary homelessness by ending my traditional lease situation and primarily camping in the backyard of a friend's house. This lifestyle of camping was also mixed with a bit of cross-country road tripping which facilitated some amazing prayer and listening to C.S. Lewis audio books.
The fall of 2007 was spent applying the values that have been surging and seeking expression by living and working with Word Made Flesh in the second largest favela in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Please read my reflections from each of the phases in my life by flipping through my previous posts.

What is going on in my life now? Well to be sure, I don't have a motorcycle, I also don't have a lease but I do have two bedrooms that I flip-flop between and I still work at the coffee shop in Wheaton. I'm a week from finishing my Master's degree at Wheaton College and I'm within a month of running a marathon. And running is what I should have been posting about throughout this spring. Running has been my extreme pursuit of the season. I have been running in -2 degree with strong wind weather. I have also been running in 90 degree high humidity weather. I have had icecicles growing on my eye lashes and I've been sun burnt. Running is extreme. Anytime I run more then 5 miles I wonder why the heck I do this painful thing to my body.

Well, the reason is death. I wont expound on that yet. Maybe after this afternoon's run, after I've had another chance to meditate on the topic the words will come to me to explain the thing that compels me to run 26.2 miles on May 24th in Traverse City, MI.

I'll try to start blogging more regularly again. Sorry for checking out of the world of media connectivity for so long. No promises that I'll do any better at answering my phone or checking my email but maybe I can promise a blog at least every two weeks.

tchou!

Newsletter 7

2007-12-10T08:06:00.000-06:00

Greetings Friends and Family from Rio again.

We are counting down the days until we have to hop back on an airplane and come back to our respective homes and places of work. Today is Monday and we leave on Saturday so we have five more days to make the most out of our time in Rio.

I hope you have all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are preparing for Christmas and more time with family and loved ones. I am looking forward to not only family and friends but also SNOW and rediscovering winter clothes. My tank tops are looking a bit stretched out and ragged from four months of hand washing and active wear. It has been strange observing some of the things I miss most about life in the States. I think I'm really going to relish the freedom to be alone when I want and the ability to go places when and where I want with much fewer restrictions.

It has been since early November that I gave a lengthy newsletter and for that I'm very sorry. November has been a very involved month and December is even more busy. About a month ago we climbed Corcovado to the Christ statue. The climb was steep and jungley, lasted about 2 hours and most of the time we were climbing through a cloud. Once we committed, we couldn't see much of the statue because of the density of cloud cover, rain, and strong winds that threatened to blow us over the cliff edges. That was the first time I have been really cold in Brazil. But still it was such a memorable experience and I'm so glad we went.

A couple weeks ago we took all the Projecta Vidinha (orphanage) kids to a really big park to play futbol with the older kids and other games with the young kids. That was such a huge success. I played soccer non-stop that whole day. The kids beat up on me terribly but still my team was determined to get me to score. I preferred to play defense. A couple days before that was my birthday and then also I got a chance to play, this time under an over pass with the street kids with commuting business people occasionally walking through our make-shift playing field. On this particular day I scored three goals. Unfortunately those years of smoking and perhaps also being a bit high make the street kids slow enough that I could keep pace.

Ben, our servant team coordinator who has been in the U.S. since Mid October was finally granted student VISA so he was able to come home to Brazil on Wednesday. This was a huge relief to us all. We missed having him around terribly and he returned just in time to take us on our debriefing retreat to Angra, a beautiful beach town with hundreds of nearly abandoned islands. We left for that retreat on Thursday night after we helped run a Christmas party at Timonis (the favela kids program). The Christmas party was lots of fun. We decorated the place with lots of lights and streamers, had candy to give away, made mini pizzas, and had a huge supply of sodas. Each of us operated a carnival type game that the kids would rotate around to and receive points to redeem for a Christmas gift at the end. My game was a huge tub of sand with 10 marbles buried in it. The kids had a minute to dig through it and pull out all the marbles. They had a lot of fun with it but I was covered in mud by the end of the day. Mud because when sand settles on a really sweaty person it becomes mud. Oh, the power had gone out again so not only were the Christmas lights not lit but also none of our ceiling lights or fans were operational. On really hot days the electricity tends to go out. The wiring in illegal residency doesn't tend to be that great but many people are starting to own window air conditioning units that drain entire blocks of electricity. We're getting used to always being covered with a sticky film of sweat. Unfortunately the party ended on a sour note because of a police raid that was warring with the Drug Traffickers on the streets outside. We kept the kids inside with us until the area immediately surrounding us had quieted down a bit. Happy Birthday Jesus, right?

Then we hurried home to clean up for the debriefing retreat to Mangaratiba and Angra dos Reis. We have a Brazilian friend who has a house not 100 yards from the ocean at Mangaratiba and he allowed us to invade his house again for this weekend. It is such a beautiful place unfortunately half the time it was raining. We still had a good time and spend a day and a half on the beach. Yesterday, for the last day of the retreat, we went to the bigger city of Angra to go on a boat trip to Ilha Grande (the big island) and to a couple small islands along the way with beautiful beaches. We also went snorkling at one point on the Ilha Grande. Yesterday was the perfect day to step back from our life in the favelas and from this time in Brazil to consider what God has done in our lives and what we have learned during these past four months.

We have just a few days left now. Next week I'll be back in Texas to the things that have always been familiar to me speaking a language I know. I can't wait to come back and reconnect with all of you. I can't wait to share in more detail some of the experiences I had and also to hear about what has been happening in your life since the last time we were together. If this letter wasn't too long for you check out this blog posting for more details from my days: http://jen-unconventionalwisdom.blogspot.com/2007/11/almost-over.html

Miss you all. I'll see you soon. May God bless your life this holiday season.
jp

almost over

2007-11-28T16:29:00.000-06:00

I can't promise I will write any more blogs during my time in Rio. I will write lots I assume once I return and am trying to make since of my time in this place. But for now, I'm pretty busy both with normal ministry activities as well as additional end of our time stuff like Christmas parties, farewell parties, debriefing retreat, and growing desire to spend time with our Brazilian friends. Today was a bit out of the ordinary as far as ordinary days go. I'll try to capture a few moments from it for you now.

Today, being Wednesday, was a long day of work. We were up a bit before 8am to make cafe de manha (breakfast-meaning coffee) and head out to catch a onîbus (bus) to Lapa (an area of downtown where the Missionaries of Charity is located). The bus didn't come right away. It seemed like every other possible bus had passed by several times before a very full bus that would take us where we wanted to go arrived. We had to stand about half the 45 minute commute and when I finally sat it was in the back row (5 across) and I got stuck in the very middle between two men. One was asleep and seemed to seemed to drift more and more onto me. Finally the man on the other side of me got off the bus and I got to sit on the crack between two seats so the sleepy man wasn't leaning on me anymore.

We arrived at MoC and say hi to all the wonderful old women who cook amazing almoça (lunch) on Wednesdays. We tell them that this week we have brought the sobremasas (desert), it is chocolate bolo, but we like to call it Brownies. After that anouncement, we joined the Sister from Rowanda to help with the laundry. She told me happy birthday in both English and Portuguese and asked if I danced for the party. She really likes dancing but I think that pleasure is a bit stiffled if you are a nun, but of course I can't be sure. A little later after the laundry is done and after we learn how to get coco (coconut) out of a dried green oblong shaped ball and how to then shave it like what you would find on the baking isle of a grocery store, the sisters let us try some candied coco. It was heavenly. Then they said to take it home with us to share with the other Americanos. After more time has passed and we have prayed with the cooks and eaten their amazing meal of rice and beans and noodles, and mean and salad and pineapple they get to try our brownies that we have been trying to make and give them for over a month now.

After MoC we get on another bus and ride 30 minutes or so to Tijuca, another area of town between DT and where we live. We check the mail box, nothing for me, then walk to Projeta Vidinha (the orphanage). Kids are eating lunch. IN (a 10 year old boy) is playing with the four little kittens with a clothes hanger. B (2 year old girl) is in a great mood and having my head be a race track for a matchbox like car. R (8 year old boy) is obediently eating. No other little kids there at the time. We take them to the main room after they eat to play a memory card game. It works for a bit before the other Americans on staff show up with their baby. B is playing with markers and stealing our cards. T (6 year old boy) and PV (8, boy) arrive. R has started to cheat. IN is rearranging the cards. R is becoming more obsinate each minute. Finally the other Americans who can speak excelent Portuguese come in and give the kids more direction. Now they will create Christmas cards for their American sponsors. Last week they created cards for their Brazilian sponsors. So because of this repitition they weren't very excited or engaged in the assignment. IN followed directions well once he possisioned himself on the other side of the room from me and requested marker colors he needed in Portuguese and had me throw them across the room to him back and forth. R just wasn't having a real good day and kept pouting. The other boys T and PV focused for a total of 10 minutes. Once they were done so were Heather and myself. The house quickly became chaotic again with kids trying to use us as jugle gyms, yelling and fighting each other. All the while I'm locking in having to throw markers across the room at IN. Three and a half hours of being in this house finally pass and we decide we've had enough and need to get home for the evening. We get directions for the next day from the American staff then start saying our good-byes to the kids. I ask little B for a hug in good enough Portuguese for her to have no doubt about my request for a hug, I said, "Eu preciso uma abrasar." She got a really big smile on her face, opens wide her little arms and flings herself at my chest. I'm squatting on the floor so it's perfect. Then the other kids see me within their reach so before I know it PV and T and R are all on my back. This frustrates me as much as it makes me feel loved and appreciated. We finally leave and tell the kids we will see them again Friday for Enlgish class.

So we leave and hobble like wounded soldiers the half mile or more to the bus stop more aware than ever of the toll that being in a forein country, doing manual labor, and working with kids has on a person. The bus this time is another 45 minutes and I settle in comfortably by Heather and start to drift to sleep (not deep sleep but just kinda nodding off now and again). We get off and walk home another 1/2 mile through the favela. At home Heather and I part ways, her to the internet cafe and I to the roof of our house.

At the roof, I take "Announcing the Reign of God" a book we will be discussing as a group tomorrow that I haven't finished yet. I also have my water bottle and disposable camera hoping to catch a good sunset and noticing that the neighbor kids are trying to get their kites to take flight. I love watching the flight of their little kites. It looks like a lot of work but well worth it. One of the kids has a roof like ours that is really tall above all the buildings around it. The other is under several clothes lines and has taller buildings on three sides so it's much more difficult to get a kite to fly from such a position. I watch them struggle for a while and then I hear teenage girl voices behind me and realize the kids from a couple houses down are joining me on my roof. I recognize them but have never had conversations with them before. Now I speak more and am up for the challence. T (14 year old girl) asks to see/use my cameral. I let her. She takes a picture of her friends. Then one of me confussed that she has so quickly figured out how my camera works, I will trash that one once I get them developed. Then she takes one of her friends and me with the mountains and kites in the backgrownd. We talk a bit about names, ages, where I'm from, do I have a boyfriend, my favorite types of music, and that was about all. Then the oldest starts beating up on T. Not really sure why but it destroys our moment of conversation and they find their way back to their own roof.

I look up after this and see the kids have finally sucessfully gotten their kite flying. I hollar PARABANS! (congratulations) at them and the girls I was talking to start laughing of course. Just as quickly as the kite takes flight it seems to crash back down so I decide I can probably invite them over to my roof because it is so much better possitioned for flying a kite but no kids live here to do the honors. So I hollar over again "vocês pode vam car aqui com suas peples." please excuse my spelling I'm not sure of my accuracy with Portuguese spelling but this is my attempt to say "Ya'll can come over here with your kite." They act like they understand and seem to say, really? After one attempt the kid runs downstairs and looks like he's asking mom for permission but then returns to the roof and resumes flight there. So I give up and just enjoy the sunset with the kids still trying to fly their beautifle kite for a long time. Heather joins me after a while with her camera also. I share a cookie with her that I got last night at my birthday party.

Then we go downstairs and evaluate our options for super. We are now out of noodles, out of rice, out of meat, cheese, we have two eggs, some slightly moldy bread, and good spices. I have no money. I have just enough money for the bus fair until we get paid Friday morning. I have so little spare money that I have been borrowing toothpaste and soap all week. I made the mistake of going out to eat Chinese food with Lisa on our birthday. It was worth it but now I have no extra. We don't get much money to live on, which is good. About 1/3 of the R$100 we get goes to transportation. The rest basically covers our food. But then we always end up doing things during the week with our Brazilian friends and nothing is cheap. So we decide to make egg sandwiches with curry and tabasco. Heather has some spare money and buys two slices of cheese. She is very generous to me. Most of her weekly allowance probably went to my birthday celebrations. I decide to contribute to the meal by sharing some Crystal Light to go Cherry packets with her. It is a really good meal.

After eating I came to the Lan House where I am at the moment. I hope you enjoy my day. So ordinary and yet so amazing. I really love Brazil. I love Rio. I love my teammates and friends. I really love the favela. And I thank God for drawing me to this place in relationship with all these people. Thanks for reading. I'll be back to Texas in two and a half weeks and to Chicago at the first of the year.
Tchou

Eu Sou Muito Amavi

2007-11-23T12:24:00.001-06:00

Today I found this picture and received a package of all the things I miss most about being home (minus the people I love) from my co-workers. I feel loved.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-22T11:08:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving Friends.

Today I am thankful for you, my friends. I want to say a special thanks to all of you who throughout the past 3+ months have taken the time to send me emails. You will never truly know how encouraging those emails have been for me. Thank you also for those of you who have sent me letters and packages. Getting mail always makes for a great day, no matter what else occurred during that day. (however please don't try to send anything else my way because it wont get here before I leave)

I also thank you friends for your prayers. I have full confidence that many of you have been praying frequently for us, our safety, our ministry, and probably many other things. Thank you for bathing this experience in your prayers. And now as we are coming into the home stretch, only three weeks remaining in beautiful Brazil we will need your prayers all the more. We are already getting choked up at the thought of saying good-bye to our many friends here. How do you tell a 10 year old good-bye for real when you are so accustomed to saying I'll see you tomorrow or next week? How do you tell so many close friends and casual acquaintances in this place that we wont see each other again most likely until the throne room of God? My prayers now are that those we have been ministering with will come to see us as not-so-distant cousins that they will always be able to look back and fondly remember and know that someday we will get to romp around again and create wonderful adventures. Because we all are in fact family. The children we have become so close to are our brothers and sisters in Christ with equally strong bonds as any blood family could ever be. I hope you will realize that these new friends I have in Brazil and that I write stories about are also your brothers and sisters. I'm sorry you may not have the opportunity to meet them face to face but they are still your family too.

On this Thanksgiving, as anticlimactic as it is in a country that obviously doesn't recognize this holiday, I am thankful for the opportunity to meet this part of my family in Brazil. I am so thankful to have met this extension of the body of Christ. I am thankful to see the movement of the Spirit in this place. I am thankful for being part of a family that isn't bound by nationality, ethnicity, sex, income, occupation, time, or distance. I hope on this Thanksgiving day you too will remember your extended family and brothers and sisters that may currently be unknown to you but that live all over the world in all conditions imaginable.

I pray for you also. I love you and miss you. I will be coming home to you soon. We fly out of Rio at 11:55pm December 15th. So I'll be back to Texas on December 16th and back to Chicago-land December 31st-ish.

Deus te abençoe (God bless you),
jp

I'm Slacking

2007-11-21T16:54:00.000-06:00

on creating new posts that is. I have finished several books since my last quasi report and intend to at some point in the near future at least record what books I'm been reading and a one or two sentence summary of each. But for the past few weeks I just haven't felt like writing such seemingly unimportant words that may or may not take up your time to read when you could be living life in some more constructive way.

I also haven't recorded for you enjoyment any funny stories from our experiences in Rio, which have been occurring undoubtedly, but again I have not slowed down my own life in order to reflect on these moments and type them out in a humorous account. So sorry, you will have to wait for more fun stories from Rio.

The things that have happened lately that I would want to write about are unfortunately very difficult to reconstruct with words when I know that my readers are primarily if not entirely based in the U.S. suburbia. There is nothing wrong with you being a US suburbanite, it just makes trying to explain particular events in daily life in Brazil a bit more challenging.

For instance when I talk with a Brazilian I can say this morning as we were leaving the favela we encountered the Caverão face to face for the first time. And immediately that statement conjures up countless relevant images in their minds and they begin to tell us stories that relate to my one short statement. Yes, I will attempt to describe the Caverão and other things that are happening in our lives but perhaps some stories I will go into deeper detail with once I return and practice trying to describe the events face to face with close friends before I go off trying to type it out. Then maybe what I will say will make a bit more sense.

Suffice it to say that life is still moving at lightning speed. We realize the we will only be in Brazil for something like 24 more days. We know the exact number of times we will return to each ministry. When we left the Missionaries of Charity today we said to each other, 5 more times. We will go to the streets 2 more times, the orphanage 7 more times, etc. We have two more weekends after this coming one that we are busy planning. We want to make the most out of each moment. That's our life right now.

No more time to write now, I have life to live and processing to do for what we have experienced. I don't want to be a basket case when I return. I want to make some good healthy decisions before I hope on that plane. Right now I feel very healthy mentally. I don't think I will freak out as bad returning even as I did when I returned from China. I will be tired however and in desperate need of alone time. I haven't had alone time in four months. How blessed it will be to have my own room for two weeks while I'm in Texas. Yeah! Life is good.

What are we doing in Brazil?

2007-11-07T15:30:00.000-06:00

Just so you know,

Our time in Brazil is being spent relaxing

on the beach

and in the slum.

Newsletter 6

2007-11-07T14:22:00.000-06:00

Oi Friends and family,

I have been observing that Brazil has a lot of holidays. There were at least 2 last month: children's day and teacher's day. November 2nd was All Saints Day and November 12th I think will be another holiday. These are on top of our own Thanksgiving holiday and double birthday party the following Monday.

This month we will also throw a big birthday party for all the spring birthdays at Projeta Vidinha (the orphanage). The founder of that home, Dora, has a birthday on November 13th so I'm guessing that's when we will have their party.

2 Women from the Word Made Flesh staff in Omaha, NE are visiting the Rio community in mid November as well for about a week. We are all hoping to do many touristy things during that week because even after having been here for two and a half months we still haven't been to the Christ statue or a couple of the world famous beaches.

Though our life continues to maintain a type of simi-consistent weekly rhythm I realize I have yet to really expound upon what we do here. What follows is a brief description of our responsibilities but it all adds up to a long newsletter. I apologize for this fact and hope you will persevere to the end.

Sunday morning we attend the Timonis church in the favela Maginhos. The church was began there in early October I think. Sunday afternoon we go to the market and buy fresh fruit and veggies and decide which church to attend in the evenings (Sunday night is the big church gathering).

Monday mornings we study or rest up, eat lunch together, then travel downtown to a gorgeous cathedral with a tragic story. This cathedral is called Candelaria and during our time there we pray before walking to Praça XV to spend some time with our friends the street kids. Generally we spend a few hours with them. Chatting, playing uno, drawing, and solving math problems before distributing sandwiches, fruit, and chocolate milk. They generally are more appreciative of our time then of our food.

Tuesdays we still split up to double our ministry involvement. David, Will, and Lisa work at Timonis, a place for the kids in the favelas to learn the bible and play. I explain more about that later. Heather and I head to Tijuca (a nice part of town) where Projeta Vidinha is located to play with the kids living there. We learn each others languages, draw, do homework, chat, rest, eat, and generally have a decent time together. Sometimes we tell Bible stories and pray and sometimes we don't. I don't feel any guild about this. It's a very religious environment so often we share the love of God in more creative ways.

Tuesday afternoons we travel downtown to Lapa (the aqua ducts) and walk to the Missionaries of Charity home where we find the nuns in their personal quarters praying and the gentlemen in residence, thrilled to have two American women greatly limited in their understanding of Portuguese ready to attempt to converse or play dominos for about an hour. Most of these men are seriously limited in their mobility by various forms of cancer or injury. Then we descend to the kitchen and dinning area to assist with transforming the tranquil monastic setting into a bustling soup kitchen for homeless men for the following couple of hours. It's exhausting but also lots of fun.

Wednesdays are a reverse of Tuesdays in which we begin our day at the Missionaries of Charity and end at Projeta Vidinha. Wednesday morning at MofC are the weekly big cleaning day. We have have frequently been put to work doing laundry, washing windows, organizing the clothing donations, or changing the sheets and cleaning the men's rooms. We have the most fun when working along side a sister and get to hear a bit of her story. My favorite sister is a young woman from Rwanda. She makes me laugh a lot. Last week we threw four 50lb. sacks of jeans down the stairs together. She knows how to have fun while she works. After our tasks we return to the kitchen for more laughs with the crazy old women cooks. They are so full of joy, so beautiful, and their food is to die for! Yum!!! This week we promised them we would bring the sobrimesa (desert) and their faces lit up with excitment. We are going to try to make carmel brownies. Brazil doesn't really have brownies which is a shame. I think they will like it. After lunch we return to Projeta Vidinha and continue to spend quality time with the kids.

Thursdays we have community time. In the mornings we discuss our reading assignments. We just finished reading "From Brokenness to Community" by Jean Vanier. Then we eat lunch together and in the evening we have our Portuguese lesson for a couple hours.

Friday mornings we teach English at Projeta Vidinha. This class is going suprisingly well. David and I team teach the high school class. Heather, Lisa, and Will teach the younger kids. They do fun stuff like paint by numbers. David and I just talk from the chalk board.

The rest of the day Friday and all of Saturday varry from week to week. Sometimes we go to the beach, sometimes we go to the mountins. And sometimes we do nothing at all. This Saturday I slept until 9, read for a while, spent some time online, then went to the roof of the house in the favela Jacaré for a couple hours just to see the view. I think the mountain behind the favela is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I spend a lot of time on the roof and I have the farmer's tan to prove it.

That's our week and the regular responsibilities we uphold. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays David, Will, and Lisa work at Timonis is the neighboring favela. It is a children's program where they teach a Bible story, do a drawing, eat a snack, and play hard like there's no tomorrow. We also do other things of course. We have many Brazilian friends now and they are showing us the city bit by bit. We went bowling last week and went to a pizza rodisio (all you can eat brought fresh to the table including desert varieties). They boys went to a Brazilian broadway musical, sometimes we get taken to a beach or to a friend's home for food. Rest assured we are quite busy, healthy, and staying safe.

Congratulations on making it to the end of this long note. I hope you are all well. I'll see you in a month and a half if you are a Lubbock friend or 2 months if you are in the Chicago area. There's still time to get a birthday card sent to me (Nov. 26th). It takes 3 weeks to get here. My address is:
Jen Pare C/O Ben Miller
Caixa Postal 24103
AC Tijuca
Rio de Janiero, RJ 20550-970
Brasil
Be sure to send air mail. Remember I have a blog, jen-unconventionalwisdom.blogspot.com and have added new posts tagged "fun stories" that are quick blurbs from my life in Rio. The oldest ones are best. And please continue to send prayers, art, and other articles for my WMF project to encourage their full-time missionaries around the world. I have also added a snapfish photo album of some of the early moments of Rio. More will be added soon. Here is a link to view those photos. http://www2.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=178639973/a=82676049_82676049/t_=82676049If is doesn't work let me know and I'll find out a better link.
Thanks for reading. God bless. Don't freeze this winter.
jp

I Heart you Chicago!

2007-11-03T12:01:00.001-05:00

Word Made Flesh Project Progress

2007-11-03T11:37:00.000-05:00

This is doesn's have many enteries yet and I need you to continue to submit prayers, scrture, personal art and writting, articles and other stuff for this project to benefit the staff of Word Made Flesh to help keep the burning passion alive in each person for justice for the poor around the world. Thanks to anyone who does submit through comments more enteries for this database.

You may know that I'm collecting "stuff" (poems, prayers, verses, art, articles, etc) for an encouragement prayer book to gift to the workers of Word Made Flesh in their endevours around the world. Here is where I will collect that stuff. If you can submit any materials, please do. Thanks!

1. When I dare to be powerful–to use my strength in the service of my vision,then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid-Audre Lorde

2. The Road Not Taken (Robert Frost)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

3. Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. Amen

4. The Real Work by Wendell Berry

It may be that when we no longer know what to doWe have come to our real work,And that when we no longer know which way to goWe have come to our real journey.The mind that is not baffled is not employed.The impeded stream is the one that sings.5. Life is on our side.The silence and the Cross of which we knoware forces that connot be defeated.In silence and suffering,in the midst of dishonesty (most of all our own dishonesty),in all these if victory.It is Christ in us who drives us through darknessand which can only be foundby passing through apparent despair.Everything has to be tested.All relationships have to be tried.All loyalties have to pass through the fire.Much has to be lost.Much in us has to be killed, even much that is best in us.But Victory is certain.The Resurrection is the only light,and with that light there is no error.

-letter to Cxeslaw Milosz from Thomas Merton
February 28, 1959, CT 57-58

Shawn Mcdonald - Here I Am
lay myself at Your feet

Asking You won't You meet

Won't You meet me

I cannot do it on my own

I cannot do it all alone

Here I am, oh, tonight

With my arms open wide

Won't You come inside

Won't You come inside, God

Come and fill this heart of mine

I'm in need of You

Of Your touch, of Your life, of Your love

I need You

By Julie Clawson, December 2, 2007
First Sunday of Advent - Hope
Some hoped for a warrior. One who would come to overthrow the Romans. A great and might King who would stand above the masses and once again bring glory to the nation.
Some hoped for a purifier to come and cleanse the nation of it’s sin. One who would enforce the laws and punish those who transgress. One who could motivate a nation to toe the line of legalism and save themselves through piety.
What they got instead was a baby. God incarnate indeed, but God incarnate lowly, poor, and vulnerable. And a kind of hope that those obsessed with delusions of grandeur or religious fervor could barely comprehend, but which echoed in the hearts of the oppressed desperate for any hope at all. The type of hope that the one who bore this child understood when she proclaimed -
“My soul glorifies the Lordand my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,for he has been mindfulof the humble state of his servant.From now on all generations will call me blessed,for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name.His mercy extends to those who fear him,from generation to generation.He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.He has brought down rulers from their thronesbut has lifted up the humble.He has filled the hungry with good thingsbut has sent the rich away empty.He has helped his servant Israel,remembering to be mercifulto Abraham and his descendants forever,even as he said to our fathers.” Luke 1:46-55
Jesus came as the incarnation of this hope for the brokenhearted. He urged us to love others and bring freedom to the oppressed. He healed the sick and ate meals with outcasts. He offended those calling for violent revolution and scandalized those upholding the letter of the law. But he proclaimed hope.
On this first Sunday of Advent we are called to remember that hope. To celebrate the incarnation that brought hope to those who had never dared hope before. But celebrating doesn’t mean just saying a few nice words or a prayer of thanksgiving. It means being that hope. It means as followers of Christ expressing his incarnation by being his hands and feet. By healing the sick, by setting the oppressed free, and bringing good news to the poor. Hope must be tangible and make a concrete difference in the lives of those who need it for it to be real hope. Let us not just proclaim hope, but be true harbingers of hope as we seek to live in light of the incarnation.
The words to one of my favorite carols of the season, O Holy Night, capture a bit of what this incarnate hope can look like in our lives -
Truly He taught us to love one another;His law is love and His gospel is peace.Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;And in His name all oppression shall cease.Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,Let all within us praise His holy name.

Community

2007-11-03T09:02:00.000-05:00

One of Word Made Flesh's central values is community. This concept of community is one of the main reasons I chose to apply with WMF. I have learned that I need community. But I don't want to get into that here.

Brazilian culture seems to foster community in many distinct ways. I would like to share a bit about what I have seen community to be in Rio.

Primarily, the family is community. It is quite common (at least among the people we know that are middle to lower SES) for adult children to still be living with their parents and still sharing one room regardless of gender. Nobody ever leaves home except when a man gets married. Then he moves in with his new sogra (mother-in-law). And our Brazilian friends love their families and especially momma's cooking. I think this form of community is a beautiful arrangement because ever Brazilian has a place in society provided you get married and have female offspring who outlive you. The elderly are loved and charished. They have family to take care of them. It's beautiful and economical.

Secondly, nas ingrasas (in the churches) you will find community. Sunday night is the big church time but they have other sevices for the "real christians." Christian culture here seems really ridgid to me but they have the community in place to support it. Sunday morning church is like Willow Creek Wednesday nights for the believers craving meat. This is also where they quarterly community is served. On top of Sunday morning and night, they also meet every night of the week for special prayer time and healing. These services go late into the night. And after each gethering of the church they must eat together. And often smaller groups of church members will get together before sevices to "hang-out" so essencially the "real christians" spend all their time that's not spent at work or sleeping at church and with church people. This is odd to me but it is definantly a strong form of community.

We have now lived inside and outside the favela and through the recent displacement we realized we were experiencing a separation from community. The favela (slum) is a community. Everyday in the favela we waved and chatted with the same neighbors as we executed the daily routine. The neighbor kids would invite themselves over to play Janga or Uno, the mom of a friend from the local church would prepare us some homemade Brazilian Cuisine, the drug dealers would say "gringas" as we passed y in their ominous ways, and the list of acquaintences that somehow add up to the community of the slum continue. We had only lived there two months and already we had connections with tons of people. I can't imagine how vibrant the bonds would be if I were a hild of the favela and my family had lived there for several generations. Wow!

There are two more types of community I want to talk about but not now. I want to describe them in story form when I'm feeling more creative. These communities I'm thinking of are the Choparias (bars) and the street kids. Wait for it. I promise to get these stories up next week.

MTVs The Real World

2007-11-02T13:17:00.000-05:00

In case you guys haven't been watching MTV lately, it was just announced that next season's Real World will be in Brazil and will be featuring young Christians oddly enough, where people stop being polite and start being real. Get this, our veggi stand neighbors said they saw us on TV a couple weeks ago at the Brazil vs. Ecuador futbol game at Maracanã.

We had been suspecting something was up for a while. Ben seems to be best at spotting the hidden cameras. One time he and Rich were downtown when people and cameras came out of nowhere and engulfed them in hugs. They said they were "free hugs" or something like that but we suspect otherwise. Another time Ben saw the cameras and upon inquiring was assured "don't worry, it's for the Amazing Race." Now I am convenced, these things are no coincidence. We are being made into a TV show. And a darn entertaining one too I'm sure.

People are interested in how young American Christians living co-ed in another country will behave. I'm not ashamed. America can see how we live, how we get angry, how we spend our time in a small house in a poor neighborhood.

Just so you can know what part of the season is currently being filmed, I think we just reach the climactic fourth of the way in where MTV really gets the viewers hooked on evesdropping into our lives. 2 weeks ago Will dropped the monumental quots, "I'm not going to live like your not coming back." This proceeded Will and David's weekend trip to visit some twin girls in São Pãulo which corresponded with the weekend the girls moved out of the slum to Jenna's one bedroom apartment in Hiegenopolis. The following weekend's Episode was where 3 out of 4 of our leaders were abroad so we had to fend almost completely for ourselves in the big city.

This week they filmed the episode on who our feal friends are. One group of friends from Jacaré are taking us bowling and some other friends had invited us to go to their beach house in the country. We are living large and living Real.

The Real World!

Evangelical. Am I?

2007-11-02T12:59:00.000-05:00

I've been feeling frustrated with a friend a few times when Brazilians ask "are we Baptista" He says Will and himself are and the rest of us are Evangelica diferente bla bla bla Portugueseness....

A few days ago Lugamila (our new language teacher) was asking each of us individually this denomentational question. Lisa was asked first and said Nazerine and David chimed in with the Portuguese pronounciation. I was next and said "No, I don't have a denomentation" They were confussed so again David chimes in with the Portuguese, "Evangelica não-denomenação bla bla bla... I say "I'm not Evangelical!" and cut him off. I was rude. I didn't mean to be. Luge asked if I was Catholic and I wanted to say yes but I knew she wouldn't understand my intention so I said No. Rillo (Luge's brother) asked if my church had a name and named off all the denomenations he knew and I said we didn't have one of those. Next time I get that question I'll say I belong to a house church and if they want more details I'll say I ascribe to Emergent Anglican Theology. If that doesn't seem to make sense, I'll say we're a bit of an intelectually liberal church. I don't know what liberal means to Brazilians. Maybe I will substitute the word progressive in place of liberal, but that doesn't seem quite right either.

Do the members of Via Christus consider themselves evangelical? I know Church of Christ would not and thus I would not. Technically if I belong to a denomination it would be to the CoC. But I agree more along the lines of Angly/Catholic/Orthodox theology minus the institution which are all also outside the Evangelical parameters. But if it's the institution I have problems with, maybe I'm not Christian at all. Maybe I am simply a disciple. As much as I study and strive to imitate Christ hopefully nobody not even myself could argue with that label.

Happy New Year!

2007-10-29T07:48:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's true, I am jumping the gun a little here but I am so excited to return to Chicago and start another year. This is not in an unhealthy I hate my life and want to get to the next stage as quickly as possible sort of way as it may have been in previous years of my life. But for once I love my life now, can look back and say I loved my life then, and can even look forward and see that it will continue to get better.

It is strange I think that I miss school so much. I was able to look up my tenative spring course schedule which got me thinking about going back to work. These things got me thinking about living with more wonderful families from Via Christus. The thought of that went to snow and commuting which drove my thoughts to when will I ever have time to cook these amazing Brazilian dinners and how wonderful it will be to work out at the Wheaton sports center again. Oh, how I long to run again.

Last night I mapped out a budget. I will stick to it this time even if I have to share it with the people I live with and make a poster on the wall in an easy to see location so they can check up on me often. I was also thinking about getting healthy again. Running regularly, doing strenth training so I don't injure and give up. Eating well balanced instead of eating crap food because I'm vegitarian and nobody has well balanced veggi food that doesn't require hours of prep and cooking time.

All in all I am so excited about the disciplined life I have mapped out for myself to return to. It will be fun. It will include lots of people time, me time, and make money and get out of debt time. I will also be taking wonderful classes about urban issues, ministry, and the Holy Spirit.

I have less then 7 weeks remaining in Brazil. The time here is running out but it's not yet over. I am truly loving being here but I will not be upset to return. I have learned so much here and I will continue to learn in these next several weeks. But the learning doesn't stop here. I'll go on to other phases of life and God will continue to teach me things. Alright, I'll stop writing so I can go rejoin the rythems of life in Rio.

Asphalt Angels

2007-10-27T15:37:00.000-05:00

Asphalt Angels
Ineke Holtwijk

This book is based on the life of a real child living in Rio de Janeiro. The Asphalt Angels are a gang of street kids. The book recounts the story of one 13 year old boy, Alex (not his real name), how he ended up on the streets, how he learned to survive, and how he came to be part of the Asphalt Angels.

It is a terribly sad story for the most part. Incredibly inciteful and relavant to our work here. I knew all the places they went to, I can put faces on the kids and cops, and in a way it gave some perspective as to why the people of Rio are so afraid of the kids and look at me like I am a circus freak when I am casually hanging out with the kids. For details read blog from last week "circus freak."

I am really glad Holtwijk put for the effort to capture this young man's story. The lives of these kids are not dispensible and their story needs to be made known.

A Quote: "We are not criminals. Criminals are the rich steal and the police who kill. We steal to live. And the street belongs to everybody. We aren't leaving, because this is our home. We have just as much right as everybody else. Nobody has to worry about us because we take care of ourselves. We help one another. We, the Asphalt Angels don't die. Because when we die, There'll be new Asphalt Angels." (pg. 131)

One of the ways to get to Christ

2007-10-27T09:05:00.000-05:00

Just so you know...

Beasts of No Nation

2007-10-27T08:47:00.000-05:00

Beasts of No Nation
-a novel-
by Uxodinma Iweala

This book was not as informative regarding child soldiers as "A Long Way Gone" was but this book was also more artistically written and on my part more artistically read.

Here is a quote for an example of the artistic language: "It is night. It is day. It is light. It is too hot. It is too cold. It is raining. It is too much sunshine. It is too dry. It is too wet. But all the time we are fighting. No matter what, we are always fighting. All the time bullet is just eating everything, leaf, tree, ground, person--eating them--just making person to bleed everywhere and there is so much blood flooding all over the bush everywhere and there is so much blood flooding all over the bush. The bleeding is making people to be screaming and shouting all the time, shouting to father and to mother, shouting to God or to Devil, shouting one language that nobody is really knowing at all. Sometimes I am covering my ear so I am not hearing bullet and shouting, and sometimes I am shouting and screaming also so I am not hearing anything but my own voice. Sometimes I am wanting to cry very loud, but nobody is crying in this place. If I am crying, they will be looking at me because soldier is not supposed to be crying." (pg. 117)

What I mean by artistic reading is in a different way I read parts of this book, for instance on the battlegrounds of an actual war involving a type of child soldiers. As I read through this book I heard the sounds of guns, helicopters, screaming, trucks, and motorcycles.

When I read "A Long Way Gone" I read at Harrik lake. The only identifying I had with the child was the fear of bugs. We simutaneously fought off mosquitos. But in this book, Agu and I both shuttered at the sounds of bullets flying through the air.

As a novel, "Beasts of No Nation" was brilliant. However, if you desire facts about the occurances of child soldiers, there are better resources available. If you like beautiful and creative language don't pass this book up.

Good News About Injustice

2007-10-26T12:14:00.000-05:00

Good News About Injustice: A Witness of Courage in a Hurting World
Gary A. Haugen

Gary is the International Justice Mission guy. He thinks like a lawyer and has seen terrible brokenness all over the world from the Rwandan Massacre to 13 year olds in brothels to child bonded labor in Indian mudalali cigarette factories to many other situations of terrible oppression. His writing is orderly and logical (he is a lawyer after all) and the book serves to remind the body of Christ that we all play a role in fighting global injustices. The book includes the anatomy of injustice and what you can do to combat it.

Quote: Overtime I have come to see questions about suffering in the world not so much as questions of God's character but as questions about the obedience and faith of God's people" (pg. 100). "Why O Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? God may be asking similar questions--not of himself but of his people: 'And the LORD looked and was displeased that there was no justice. He saw that there was no one, he was appalled that there was no one to intervene.' 'Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' (Isaiah 6:8; 59:15-16)" (pg. 140-141).

When Toasters Fly...

2007-10-26T11:49:00.000-05:00

I haven't seen a toaster (or a microwave come to think of it) in more than two months, but today I saw a sardine can on wheels.

On a day like today, after it's been raining for 3 days and considering the present condition of road construction, it likely would have taken us three hours to travel from Jacaré to Candelaria (look these places up on Google Earth, they are not that far). But what would take three hours by omnibus (bus) managed to take about 20 minutes by sardine can (Metro Train).

Story: We (Heather, Lisa, and I) arrived at the Metro station and the train approached. It was covered by an advertisement like the Lubbock Citybusses in such a way that we couldn't even see through the windows. When the doors slid open, we looked at each other and groaned, "Uh oh." Somehow we managed to squeeze in among the mass of people and it wasn't too bad.

Three stops later we are at the main station terminal. Everyone exists to get on the next train which will take us downtown. We can see into this one as it pulls to a stop. It's worse. People were practically falling out as the doors slid open. I force my body in. Heather's not so sure we can all fit. I hold the door as one might hold an elevator door and say "come on." It's really tight. We can't move. The man behind Heather and I needs off at the next stop. As he tried to move, I try to fill the area his body previously occupied. It's like human tetris.

Next challenge, we don't know which side of the train the doors will open on when it gets to our stop. Only two stops left. Should we force ourselves to the other side of the train or should we stay put? What to do? So I attempt to speak to the friendly looking man beside me (I think he's friendly because he chuckled as I rolled my eyes trying to board the train). In Portuguese I say, "You Know Door." Pathetic, I know. In our broken Portuguese, his broken English, and only one stop to go we manage to communicate which stop we want off on and he tells us which side. We wiggle a couple feet towards the other side of the train and push our way out.

As the train is pulling away, we turn around to bid it farewell and observe just how full each car is.

Everybody knows the train is reliable during the rainy season, EVERYBODY.

Ragamuffin Gospel

2007-10-26T11:36:00.000-05:00

The Ragamuffin Gospel
By Brennan Manning

This book is about Grace. I don't remember Manning's exact quote but a couple times he writes something to the effect of 'God expects more failure from you than you allow yourself.' And in the context of the writing he's talking about this unconditional love and it doesn't matter what we do or how many times we mess up, we are loved. This is good news indeed.

Sometimes I have a hard time forgiving myself. This book spoke to that tendency I have to remind me of the potency of God's love.

Quote: "We settle in and settle down to lives of comfortable piety and well-fed virtue. We grow complacent and lead practical lives. Our feeble attempts at prayer are filled with stitched phrases addressed to an impassive deity. Even times of worship become trivialized.
This is the victorious limp often lived by this writer. At different times on the journey I have tried to fill the emptiness that frequently comes with God's presence through a variety of substitutes--writing, preaching, traveling, television, movies, ice cream, shallow relationships, sports, music, daydreaming, alcohol, etc. As Annie Dillard says, "There is always an enormous temptation to diddle around making itsy-bitsy friends and meals and journeys for itsy-bitsy years on end." Along the way I opted for slavery and lost the desire for freedom. I loved my captivity and I imprisoned myself in the desire for things I hated. I hardened my heart against true love. I abandoned prayer and took flight from the simple sacredness of my life. On some given day when grace overtook me and I returned to prayer, I half-expected Jesus to ask, "Who dat?" (pg. 180)

Egg = Grape

2007-10-26T11:24:00.000-05:00

This is the longest I haven't been in school since I was 5 years old and starting Kindergarten. Isn't that crazy? I think so.

Tuesday, Heather and I went to Projecto Vidinha and found H at the lunch table doing homework. How convenient. I was hoping for an excuse to pull out my Portuguese homework at work and sucker some unsuspecting kid into helping me out a bit.

After calling a grape (uva) and egg (ovo), H decides I need a vocab lesson. So he points to everything on the table. Apple (maça), banana (banana), grape (uva), cup (copo), plate (plata), bowl--stop--this is where I crash head first. He says, bacia (pronounced bas-E-a) I repeat bas-I-E. Over and over I make this mistake. We would repeat the whole sequence beginning with the fruit and ending with the bowl and without fail the only word my brain could conjure was bas-I-E.

Eventually, we got to my homework which was writing sentences with -er verbs conjugated correctly. I showed them to my teacher Wednesday night and she was pleased because it was perfect. Little did she know about my struggle to associate bacia with bowl. Thank you H, C, and A for your patience with me Tuesday.

Naked Before God

2007-10-26T11:06:00.000-05:00

Naked Before God: The Return of a Broken Disciple
By Bill Williams with Martha Williams

This book was very creatively written. After just reading the first two chapters I already had to step away from the book because it was intense. Not only is the writing style creative, the story is captivating and the theology requires reconsideration. It seems to cover all the ground McLaren hits in "A New Kind of Christian" trilogy but not in such a defensive tone. Williams seems to very lovingly ask the reader to rethink our presuppositions about God, about people, about grace, and about a whole host of other things. I especially want to recommend this book to anyone with chronic medical conditions all the way from arthritis to MS to cancer to diabetes. You will know why after the first pace. Great book, great thoughts. This one touched my heart not just my intellect.

Quote:
But why evangelize, if it doesn't leverage people into New Jerusalem?
Because the reward of faith is on earth, not in heaven. Those that receive it will find strength and endurance for their other wounds--as Christ says, faith makes you well. That's reason enough isn't it?
We do it for the reason we pursue all healing acts; because we're called to be healers. And if the soil is rocky and the seed dies, this is no more of a judgement on a person than cancer or Tourette's syndrome. It is yet another expressing of the Not Yet: the waiting for healing that we all endure. (pg 181)

Circus Freaks

2007-10-24T13:54:00.000-05:00

I am a circus freak.

We were downtown Monday, hanging out with the street kids under the bridge and the eyes in every bus, taxi, personal vehicle, and motorcycle were glued on myself and my friends.

I turned to Jenna and asked, "Jenna, why are they staring at me?" Jenna says, "I don't know if you know this or not, but you are in a very dirty place and you are a gringa." I am used to being stared at because I am a gringa but not like this. These stares were painful.

I turned to Will Smith (pronounced "Wiw Smitchy") and asked, "Why are they staring at me?" He responds, "I don't know if you know this or not but they think you are about to be mugged or worse at any moment. They think you are in a very unsafe place." But Wiw and his friends aren't about to harm me in any way. They are my friends. We now have two months of history together. They have guarded my purse many times through the time we have spent together. They have in fact given me priceless gifts including pictures to illustrate their love for me and Portuguese tips. These people are my friends. They are not about to harm me. This must not be why the people are staring so violently.

I turned to Lisa and asked, "Why are they staring at me?" She gently put her hand on my sholder and said, "I don't know if you are aware of this, but you have a second face growing out of your back. They are staring at you because you are a circus freak. I would stare at you to."

Newsletter 5

2007-10-19T15:11:00.000-05:00

Hello again family and friends!!!

Sorry I have not written for quite a long time. I hope you are all well and enjoying the summer turning into fall. I heard that Colorado is already getting dumped on by snow. Burrrr! The other day it got up to 36 degrees here. I don't really know what that means but I think it was in the 90s. I got a good sunburn the other day at the beach and was reminded that I need to be really careful, it's still early spring. In fact we just sprung forward so I am now 3 hours before CST zone.

These past three weeks we have been invited to many incredible places. The Brazilians are incredibly hospitable. They share everything they have including food and home with us, gringos they have only known for a very short amount of time. If you want to know where all we have been go on Google maps and look up: Mangaratiba, Mendes, Barra de Tijuca, and Floresta de Tijuca. At Mangaratiba we spent a weekend at a friend's beach house. It was awesome! And incredibly relaxing. It was exactly what we needed at that time. The following weekend we went to Mendes, the home of the leaders of Timonis (the after school program in the neighboring favela). It was up in the jungle/mountains and was the first time we have really been away from all the people. The floresta de Tijuca we have been to a couple times now. It is the national forest located on the mountain we see from our bedroom window. Beautiful place. And Barra is the less touristy beach that we have also used a couple times. These places have been great retreats from the taxing life that we get engrossed in. However, we still haven't made it up to the Christ Statue. Our updated plans are to go early in November. It is difficult to get there and a bit pricy so that's how I have lived here for over two months and not gone to such a well known national symbol. And one thing I learned from all this travels is that grilled pineapple is to-die-for! Don't believe me? I challenge you to go fire up the grill, slice a pineapple and throw it one for a bit on each side to toasty it up. Ummmmm! Delicious.

On a more serious note, while in Rio I am required to do some kind of project to benefit to staff in Rio or Word Made Flesh staff around the world. My idea is to put together a book a prayers (and other stuff) that will remind the missionaries why they do what they do. But I need your help. I need to collect a ton of prayers, poems, art, short stories, or anything else that might be useful for reminding the staff why they do what they do which is serve the poor, encourage/refresh/rejuvenate, or stimulate thinking for fresh ways of dealing with corruption/violence/poverty/abuse/etc... also including theological works of justice, peace, and poverty. If you know of any of these articles that we could use please email them along so we can be partners and this work.

Half of our stay here is already up and everyday I find myself loving Brazil more and more. I love the work so much more now too because I know and love the children, the nuns, and others we daily interact with. My life here reminds me of what I used to idealize and tried to make my life at LCU. For a short time there I was invited to serve in groups that fed the hungry and cared for the orphans. These two services are essentially what I do in Rio, but I'm having a blast all the while. I'm fairly certain this is what I want to do with my life. But I still don't know where. There are children's shelters all over the States that I probably will work with until God sends me out again. But for now, I'm here for another two months. It's exciting to be doing the thing I love so much. This prayer has taken on new meaning for us here:

Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

One more thing, we keep getting emails saying, "keep up the Lord's work." which sounds good but it's not really true. The interns talked and agreed that we aren't doing the Lord's work but he is doing his work in us and hopefully through us as well. My prayer for you these next couple weeks is that God will be working on and in you as well.

casa dulce casa

2007-10-18T18:54:00.000-05:00

I never get tired of this view.

Yesterday we went to the Brasil vs. Equador game at Maracana. It was awesome. They dominated with a final score of 5-0. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Thomas Merton

2007-10-10T18:04:00.000-05:00

Thomas Merton Essential Writings
Christine M. Bochen

humm... what to say. Four parts to this book. 1 biography, 2 contemplation, 3 compassion (justice), 4 unity. All the sections were so relative to the place of the U.S. church. Merton didn't write very long ago but his writing did predate the current Terrorism terror/war.
We are a people of activism. Merton describes contemplation as true prayer where in silence we allow the true God to seek our true selves. He suggests that we do not often know our silent true self because we are activists acting out our religious activities trying to fill all silence and when loneliness and silence confront us, our true self is often not welcome. We are uncomfortable with it. But in this silence God speaks to our silent self.
Reading this section esspecially frustrated me because unless I am alone I don't feel like can access this silence to process what God is teaching me and I don't feel like any of us are able to go to that place of silence. I want all of us to learn from Psalm 46:10 to be still and seek/know God. This is important. We are too activistic. How do we got beyond that. Do we all need to be contemplative?
The third part of compassion included many of Mertons essays and poetry in reference to Auschwitz and how terribly normal and sane the people were who accomplished the atrochious deeds. Merton said that God isn't calling us to be sane at all but insane, not conforming, radicle, revolutionary, odd, silly, childlike, compassionate. We are not to blindly follow as the world leads but through the silence of contemplation to listen to God's silent voice and follow the shephard.
And the final section on unity is not to be confussed as pragmatism but as a loving and discerning ecuminism that in no way robs truth or creates a weaker all embrasing unitarian religion. Merton participated in dialogue across religious barriers including Sufism, Zen Buddhism, Hasidism Raja Yoga, and Tibetan Buddhism. May we see and may we seek truth in people all over the world. People are all made in the image of God, are they not?

Now for a prayer and a poem that I loved from this book:
"Merciful Lord, who prayed that we might be one, who died that we might be one, show us the true path to Unity. Bless, we beseech you, the sincere, devoted efforts of the Churches and their Shepherds, to come together in one. Bless above all and enlighten our own hearts to know and understand the power of silence, prayer, and fasting, so that we may more perfectly obey your hidden and mysterious will by which alone we can become truly one. For the glory of the Father, in the Word, through the Holy Spirit. Amen" (pg. 185)

"Life is on our side.
The silence and the Cross of which we know
are forces that cannot be defeated.
In silence and suffering,
in the heartbreaking effort to be honest
in the midst of dishonesty (mot of all our own dishonesty).
in all these is victory.
It is Christ in us who drives us through darkness
to a light of which we have no conception
and which can only be found
by passing through apparent despair.

Everything has to be tested.

All relationships have to be tried.
All loyalties have to pass through the fire.
Much has to be lost.
Much in us has to be killed,
even much that is best in us.
But Victory is certain.
The Resurrection is the only light,
and with that light there is no error."
(pg. 187)

Saint Francis of Assisi

2007-10-08T09:55:00.000-05:00

Saint Francis of Assisi
By G. K. Chesterton

I finished this one a couple weeks ago so I have already forgotten what I wanted to write about it. Please forgive me for this error of procrastination. I do remember how enthralled I was by the use of language by Mr. Chesterton. He is so lyrical and deliberate about the use of each individual word. Each sentence is so flooded with meaning that this book was best read in a quiet well light uncluttered room so that I wasn't distracted by the common happenings around me. If I began to daydream even for only a moment I owed it to myself to backtrack and try once again to soak in what Chesterton was trying to document about the life of the beloved Saint.

Saint Francis is by far my favorite saint. He was a man completely in love with God. His love was for God was Innocent and sincere. Many people misunderstand Francis and his asceticism because they cannot understand the passionate love Francis had for his savior. Francis was glad to give up everything (family, possessions, money, prominent future, popularity) all to follow his lover (Christ). And truly he lived a beautiful life. One thing I learned about Francis is that he would chase beggars and thieves in order to give them what little he had not sparing anything for himself. Crazy man. Crazy in love. wow

I want to love like that. I want to see Christ in people like that. Francis is cool! You are cool. Read about Francis and let his life change yours.

Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger

2007-10-04T10:36:00.000-05:00

Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger: Moving From Affluence to Generosity.
Ronald J. Sider

"We each have our own unique gifts and calling. God wants many of us to fast and pray about social sin. Most should study, and many should write and speak out. Some should join and support organizations promoting social justice. Others should run for political office. All of us should ask how changes in our personal lifestyle could help model a better world. But God does not want anyone to feel guilty for not doing everything--or for taking time off for relaxation and recreation....Correct[ing] social sin is not a heavy burden. It is an invitation to joy and meaning in life, an occasion for blessing our neighbors, and a wondrous opportunity to be a coworker with the Lord of history." (pg 117, emphasis mine)

This is a really insightful book. I recommend it to all Christians especially those with big hearts who have not yet been handed a thanksgiving sized platter of the realities of international inequalities and injustices. This book will help a person grow their social consciouses. It is a difficult read because many of the things contained in it are not pretty and the lifestyle alterations recommended are not always easy or entirely comfortable. But compared to the alternative (countless lives lost often due to our abundances and neglect) I think it's worth while.

The book has four parts. The first part focuses on the division between rich and poor. It is chalked full of stats and numbers to make the distinction tangible. This section gives of history or how the rich got rich and how the poor became poor. It also defines rich and poor.

Part two is a biblical perspective on poverty and possessions. This section makes clear God's preferential treatment on the poor. But more than that it expounds upon God's desire for justice and those that are oppressing are struck down and those being oppressed are cared for. Israel has been on both sides of that coin and we can read about that all we want in the Old Testament through the Exodus and then through the divided kingdom and the prophets. Some questions posed in this section: "Have we allowed our economic self-interest to distort our interpretation of Scripture?" "Are the people who call themselves by Christ's name truly God's people if they neglect the poor? Is the church really the church if it does not work to free the oppressed?" A quick summation of the conclusion of this section would be, "God is not biased. Material poverty is not a biblical ideal. Being poor and oppressed does not make people members of the church.... God actively seeks justice for those who are oppressed and neglected. (In fact, by pulling down oppressors and lifting up the oppressed, God does what is good for both groups.)" Then there is a big part of the jubilee. One painful quote reads, "Christians in the United States spent $15.7 billion on new church construction alone in the six years between 1984 and 1989. Would we go on building lavishly furnished expensive church buildings if members of our own congregations were starving? Do we not flatly contradict Paul if we live as if African or Latin American Christians are not also part of Christ's one body along with those in our home congregations. The division between the haves and the have nots in the body of Christ is a major hindrance to world evangelism. Hungry people in the Third World have difficulty accepting a Christ preached by People who symbolize (and often defend the materialism of) the richest societies on earth." (pg 87) "It is not because food, clothes, wealth, and property are inherently evil that Christians today must lower their standards of living. It is because others are starving." (pg. 98)

Part Three is on what causes poverty. This is probably the best section but it is difficult to read. So I will leave that up to you. Check it out from the library and soak that reality in!

Part four is on our reaction as individuals, as community (church or otherwise), and as a society to reign in justice. My favorite quote which also arguably an ideal from Charles Wesley is, "Christians should give away all but the plain necessaries of life that is, plain, wholesome food, clean clothes, and enough to carry on one's business." Wesley wanted all income given to the poor after bare necessities were met. This reminds me of the early church. There are lots of good suggestions for other personal changes some that are simple and some that will take years to transition into. The community discussion isn't complete and needs to be considered further within your individual communities. I like the Christian commune thing but also I realize the effectiveness of house churches. Thank you Via Christus, I love you!!! and then all the societal things are mostly over my head but I am trying to learn and move in that direction backed by communities. We can all do something and we must!

"Growing divisions between rich and poor will lead not only to more starvation and death but also to increasing civil strife, terrorism, and war.... To obey will mean to follow. And He lives among the poor and oppressed, seeking justice for those in agony.... God regularly accomplishes his will through faithful remnants." (pg. 269)

Read the book, love your starving neighbors, live simply so that others can simply live!

dumb quiz thing to lighten the mood a bit!

2007-09-29T21:36:00.000-05:00

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions.
You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What European City Do You Belong In?

Searching (for real this time)

2007-09-29T12:45:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer before reading:

In this blog I will refer to being a Christian as being married to Christ. Please do not suppose I have taken vows of any sort particularly to celibacy. I have in fact vowed to abstinance before marriage and faithfulness in marriage but not to celibacy, poverty, or obedience.

Also this article might make more sense if you take the time to read the other two articles on searching. They give this one a bit of context.

Begin reading:

Because of my upbringing I was destined to an arranged marriage to Christ; I did have some freedom however as to what age I would be when that took place. It happened on the side of a mountain in the chilly evening of July 31, 1997. I was 11.

As might be expected of any new bride I was anxious to know everything I could about my new love and reciprically I shared with Him everything I knew to about myself. Through the early years that excitement began to pale into my desireing a longer leash to discover who I was apart from this arranged marriage partner. This phase occurred while I was still in High School. I wanted not only to know myself but to know what life was like not being yoked in marriage. But the most peculiar thing is everytime I began to walk away, He was right there with me as if my Lover wanted nothing more than to be always by my side.

And so I learned to live with him. But not only did I learn to tolerate His presence, I began to learn to truly love him. I began to cling to His side and follow him wherever the lead me. And when I wasn't following Him and I relapsed into doing my own selfish things, they were completely devoid of meaning. I now not only loved my Lover but also I learned to love the things He loves.

This journey or search has obviously taken many different forms. To China, to sit at the feet of LCU Bible and Missions professors, to South Plains, to Pine Springs, to other mountains and nature settings, to South Plains Children's Shelter, to Chicago, to the back of a motorcycle, to "seminary," to various friendships, to Via Christus, and to Brazil.

Through these events and other experiences I'm trying to learn from my Lover what it is He is passionate about so I too can be passionate about those things and spend my life working in love and harmony with Him. Again and again I have been pulled into Isaiah, Hosea, Amos, Micah, Habakkuk, and the Gospels. I have called out many times, What do you want from my life Lord? And His response comes back as to "sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come follow Me" (Lk 18:22).

But I try to follow my Lord without first dealing with my material belongings and that buys me four months of following my Love in Brazil. I know however that because I have not completely followed the command I must return to the life I left and the debt and responsibilities attatched to my name. I am greatful to get to return to my friends and mentors and hopefully they will be able to encourage me to more fully follow this command.

But my Lord's command is not so vague as to follow into the unknown. He has told me what He wants of me and what He will lead me into. That is, "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8). And more direct commands can be found in Isaiah and Amos (and many other places).

Now that I know what my Love wants from me, upon returning to the States from this honeymoon I will make the necessary preparations to follow through on his commands. That means not accummulating more debt, and as quickly as possible laboring for my freedom from debt. I am like Gomar, the prostitute of Hosea. I have forsaken my true love for the comfort and convenience of being self-serving and making for myself a home in this world. The child I have born through this prostitution is my debt. But fortunately my Lover is kind and good in correcting me and my poor choices. I must now deal with this child, debt, most severely. And until I deal with it and gain freedom I will be held back from completely following my Lord's intentions for my life.

What will it look like to be a servant of my Lord during this shackled time? I want to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God. I don't want to be religious while continuing to participate in social systems that oppress people. I want to live simpily so that others can simpily live. I want to continue to liquidate the things I call mine to be generous to God's children in my backyard, Chicago. Unfortunately as long as I live in the U.S. I think I will be part of the problem. I will be consuming things like oil that are harmful to the environment, I will be consuming foods produced in countries where people die of starvation, I will be wearing clothes sewn by children held in slave labor. And I will not see the suffering I am causing. I will not be able to love the starving person, or help the person suffering the flooding of global warming. I will not be able to offer an alternative to the child who will sell herself for sex or labor. I will not be able to love the least of my Lover's children. I must follow Him, I must seek him out where He is among the suffering in the world. And to completely Love Him is to commit myself to the labor of love among the least.

Freedom from the world=

freedom through obedience to God

I love my life

2007-09-28T19:19:00.000-05:00

...just wanted to say that.

Be a Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job

2007-09-27T19:53:00.000-05:00

how to Be A Monastic And Not Leave Your Day Job. and invitation to obilate life
Brother Benet Tvedten

This book was like a bag of M&M's. You buy it, take it home, tear off the corner of the bag with the intention of eating just a few of the sweet candies and saving the rest for later. But after getting a taste for the sweet chocolate, accedentally finishing the whole bag in one setting. The book is only a little over 100 pages. I sat down with it and found it to be a very easy read with fabulous dry humor and wonderful content, so I finished it in a very short period of time. I need to stop eating so many books. I'm probably gaining weight.

Back to monasticism...When I ordered this book on Amazon I don't think I realized it was specifically about the rule of Saint Benedict, not that that is a bad thing. I learned many things about the Benedictine Rule and the orders of St. Benedict that I wouldn't have known otherwise. For instance, I wouldn't have to be a catholic in order to join the third order of the Benedictines, the oblate.

I picked up the book because I didn't know much about the third or secular order of Monasticism. Some of you may remember a tall skinny blond I dated last year named Steve, his mom was a secular Franciscan. I didn't really know at the time what that ment. Steve was in my life just as I was beginning to become interested in monasticism. If I had known then what I know now about it all she and I would have had some serious conversations and I may have been on my way at the moment to becomming a Franciscan. But alas, God had other plans. I do not even know if as a Protestant that door would be open to me.

Which leads into a good monologue of if I didn't have the option to become a secular Franciscan would I join the Benedictines...
The Benedictine rule is said to be a beginers rule for ordering life on the way to perfection. The rule is not a burden. It is easy and there is room for mistakes. Benedict was diligent in emphasizing the need for balance. Never go to extremes in anything. Too much wine is bad. Too much food is bad. Too much scripture is even bad. In all things moderation is best and balance between labor and study is ideal. For an oblate (one choosing the Benedictine rule belonging to a monastary but living outside their walls in a secular profession) that means study of the way of Christ and Christ-like buisiness practices, raising children and being a spouce in a way to glorify God and other such things. However I have two issues with their practice. First is their ambiguous stance on justice. In the rule Benedict states that they will actively persue peace and justice but today in praxis it is hard to decide what role they will take and it has been translated into a kind of individual place for interpretation. Some followers are very diligent in serving God in love and in ways that are actively working towards world justice and others are ignorant of the whole conversation. The intire spectrum exists. There doesn't seem to be any firm voices at this time saying that the Benedictines will commit themselves to justice in specific ways in this age.

My other issue is their value of stability. Don't get me wrong, I value stability but God doesn't seem to have called me to stability at this point in life. In my mind I am a friar, not a monk. The difference is the monk belongs to his monastery whereas the friar roams the country side in small clusters preaching and serving where ever the Lord leads. I am convinced this is the life I am called to at this time. I do desire stability in community but in a community of friars, not monks. I really did appreciate the book and I learned many things. Now I want to know about other secular monastic orders.

Calling

2007-09-27T11:06:00.000-05:00

I appologize for all the lame book report blogs lately but for whatever reason I have not felt the urdge to write about myself as much. I'm still searching. I still don't know entirely what for however. Monday morning I was invited to tell my life story to the Servant Team group here at the bungalow in Rio and it reminded me of truely how many years I have been searching. The search has taken many forms but has lasted for most of my life thus far. The difference is now I am aware of it.

I found a quote of Mother Teresa in my journal from March of 2007 that says, "My call is not to serve the poor. My call is to follow Jesus. I have followed him to the poor. But if he called me to the rich, I would go to the rich."

I will work on summing up what is occuring along this search while in Rio over the next week and it will focus around this quote to some degree. God is working on all of us here. We had an incredible conversation this morning on a part of "Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger" by Ron Sider. We were discussing the complexity of poverty and the was we perpetuate the causes. Next week we will discuss how we can work to overcome the structures of injustices. These things have me thinking. The systems of injustice have never been so easy to see as when I am here. And my understanding of poverty is completely different from what it was previous to this experience.

Like I said, I will think on these things and sometime next week will report what is actually going on in my heart, what God is teaching me at this time. What I report will not be intended to make anyone fill guilty for how they have decided to live. Don't read it if you feel like it might have this effect on you. I simpily want to fulfill my role as a member of this community and point to where I have seen God working in this world.

Now I'm rambling.
Paz

Newsletter 4

2007-09-27T11:03:00.000-05:00

Oi Amigos!

I AM learning Portuguese. It is slow going and a lot of work but I am learning. And knowing the language is making a big difference in how we relate to the Carioca (people of Rio). Learning another language is not even the most difficult thing I've ever done, it is actually quite natural. When there is mutual love between people, they want to be known and understood by each other. The people we have consistently spent time with over these past 5 and a half weeks are opening up to use and are extremely patient with our language differences. There is a group of older women who volunteer to cook at the Missionaries of Charity (MoC) on Wednesdays so every Wednesday we eat their amazing lunch with them. One woman we call Dona Maria knows some English so we bonded with her from the first time we were introduced. Every week we talk to her and teach each other some of our first language and she expresses her pleasure at how much Portuguese we've learned. Some weeks I don't feel like we have learned anything but she is so encouraging and helps us realize we really are learning.

There is an 84 year old Chilean man who is in residence at the MoC. I gravitated to his bedside from the first time we visited in hopes I could understand his Spanish. I couldn't. Chileans speak very differently then Mexicans. But Wednesday Heather and I were finally able to carry on an extended conversation with him in part about why he is so sick with cancer now. It was an exhausting time trying to understand him Portuanish (Portuguese/Spanish) but also so rewarding to see that our relationships are being blessed in a new way now. Those relationships are also deepening with the kids at the orphanage, in the favelas, and on the streets.

We had an interesting experience on the streets Monday. We have heard about the corruption of the police but this was our first personal observation of their mistreatment or power abuse to the street kids. I was sitting with some of the kids playing UNO when a couple of police started eyeing our group (I'm sure having gringos around attracted their attention). They picked up a backpack lying on the pile of random stuff and it happened to belong to Will (one of us Norte Americanos). The police carefully searched his bag then moved on to a rattier looking backpacked that belonged to Ben, our leader, and searched through every bag of sandwiches it contained. Then he moved on to criticize D (a woman with a 9 month old baby, M). He told her she was being cruel to her baby and reached up his hand threatening to take M away. The young men playing UNO with me stood bold upright at this point. All the kids made a protective circle around mother and child to keep the police from laying a hand on either one of them. This pattern continued for about 30 minutes with varying intensities. D ran off with M a few times to put more distance between herself and the cops (it is undignified for the cops to run). At one point the cops caught up with her and began beating her with an umbrella. The young street men ran over to protect her again. We were able to reestablish some sort of peace after that and gathered together hand in hand to sing and pray before distributing the food but them the police interrupted again to lecture the kids about respect (the kids were saying some things to provoke the cops to anger). Then D said, "We are people and deserve respect too then." The police responded, "That may be true but I wear the badge." Then they kept bickering back and forth with the police on a complete power trip.

Later we were talking with one of the pregnant women after the police left about the situation. She had 7 kids. One of her kids had to run away to another city with his dad because a police but a gun to his head. She was telling us that she wanted to live in the U.S. because the poverty isn't so bad. She said the one thing better about Brazil is there is no war. Even still at least with war you expect there to be death. In Brazil, death is unexpected. The police kill without just cause those who are poor or involved with drugs or those who look like they belong to one of those categories.

That's wisdom from the street. At least Brazil isn't involved with organized war however, the unacknowledged war between the corrupt power structures (namely the local government like police, drug gangs, and the extremely rich landowners) claims the lives of an undocumented number of people across the nation.

Through all this Jesus stands up on his mountain with arms outstretched and we wonder when he will ever swoop down and reign forth justice. Slightly off the suject we plan to hike up to the Christ statue tomorrow.

Psalm 82:1-4
God presides in the great assembly; he gives judgement among the "gods":
"How long will you defend the unjust and show pariality to the wicked?
Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked."

Prayer Requests: Our health is generally better at the moment. Some coughs, sneezes, hoarse voices, and aches are common still but nothing serious. Heather may have had a parasite but we think it passed on Monday. Thank you for your continued prayers for our health. Also please pray that God will use our bodies to be his physical hands and feet. That God would fill us so fully that the words that come out of our mouths are no longer our own but Christ's sent to love the least of this world, to serve, and to administer justice.

I hope you enjoy the stories. Sorry it's so heavy and serious. I also hope you are all well. Send me updates!

paz,
jp

Quest for Hope in the Slum Community

2007-09-22T22:14:00.000-05:00

Quest for Hope in the Slum Community
A Global Urban Reader
Edited by Scott Bessenecker

This is a text book of the sort that I would expect to be assigned in some urban development or theology classes at Wheaton. I read it so that I would feel some connection with my life in Wheaton. It really was an incredibly overview of some of the terribly complex issues workers in the slum face when trying to help. Some parts were overly technical but even then it helped me realize that when facing particular issues of globalization I will need to do lots of studing up before thinking I can do anything to help.

For those looking for an introduction to theology of the slum I would recommend the first part of the book on Spiritual hope and the conclusion, a total of about 80 pages. It is a great basic perspective.

A quote:
"The Old Testament prophets were not weak in their opposition to evil. Time and time again, Got's spokesmen in the Scriptures recognized that he had appointed human authorities. They speak forcefully against sin. They do cry out in defense of culutural identity, and frequently call those in authority to repent. But they never call those under authority to rise up in rebellion."

Too many times oppressed groups turn to physical rebellion to overcome their evil oppressors but that is not God's command. How can we as ministers and justice seekers transform cultures peacefully? What does God demand as our response to injustices besides the obvious to stamp it out? What can I do in the next two and a half months in Brazil. I think for now I will stick to loving the street kids and maybe giving them hope. I will teach the orphans English and give them an advantage over the other public school kids. I will wash laundry at the Missionaries of Charity and hopefully encourage the sisters to continue to give of themselves to the men of the streets.

The Jesus I Never Knew

2007-09-18T16:08:00.000-05:00

The Jesus I Never Knew
by Philip Yancey

A couple years ago I read Whats So Amazing About Grace? for a class on Romans. I really really enjoyed the book at the time. It was fresh and loving in a way that wasnt demonstrated to me by Bible class teachers growing up. I hadnt encounted the God Yancey was describing in that book before that time.
Since then I have grown a lot (at least I hope I have) spiritually and the concepts Yancey details were not intirely new for me. This being the case it took a little longer to get into The Jesus I Never Knew. But the third part of the book, What He Left Behind, was phenomenal and did a great job of being the culmination of the other parts of the book and ended in a way in which the reader felt overjoyed, inspired, and expectantly waiting/laboring.
The three parts to this book were- Who He Was, Why He Came, and What He Left Behind. In the first part is a section on the temptations that shed renewed light on Christs humanity/vulnerability that was beneficial. Part two contained lots of highlights of Christs life that too often we glaze over or ignore in favor of more current cultural practices and Yancey did a good job of reminding the readers just how uncultural or counter-cultural Jesus message was. Yancey focuses on the Beatitudes, the Sermon on the Mount, His missions, miracles, death, and resurrection. We read this book as a Servant team (so all the interns in Rio) and this section fueled the most discusion. It was great!
Part three was about the ascention, the Kingdom, and the difference He makes. Part three really emphazied that by Christ ascending and sending the Spirit, those indwelled with the Spirit are now Christs physical body. We are the hands and feet. The Church is Christ in the world. This was a risky plan for God. The disciples were trusted to carry the gospel to the end of the world and they were not the elite, respected, influential type. Its a wonder the Church has survived so longer but perhaps that is a testimony to Christ in itself.
And if the Church is Christs body then what about the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Christian slave trade, and apartheid. Such terrible things have happened in Gods name. But also since the ascention Gods hands on earth have spread wider and light has come to dark places through many notable people including St. Frances reaching to kiss and cloth beggers, Mother Teresa and the Home for the Dying, Wilberforce freeing the slaves, General Booth and the Salvation Army, and Dorothy Day feeding the hungry just to name a few. And God alone knows the multitude of followers and their unknown love enacted among the least. Just take my word for it this book ends beautifully. It doesnt rank in my top five or anything but it good.

Brave New World

2007-09-09T12:47:00.000-05:00

Brave New World
Aldous Huxley
Perennial Classics, 1998

This was a very interesting book. I cannot believe I had not read it sooner. My favorite book for a long time was 1984, Orwell and I remember right after I read that book I picked up Brave New World but for whatever reason did not get passed the second page. This time I devoured the book in just three days.

It is satirical, scientific, philisophical, psychological, and spiritual in content. The book hypothesizes what would happen in a world where babies were fertilized and hatched in a factory with precise chemical components to create a society that is 10% brilliant with the rest on varrying degrees below par in order to be fit for all the necessary tasks in society (trash collector, etc...). This means that nobody had parents so everyone belongs to everyone else. In this hypothetical world people do not experience intense emotions instead they are constantly popping a substance that has the depressent effect of alcohol + hallusinagin without the guilt and ill feelings the next day.

A young man who was raised in an indian reservation that survived in New Mexico free from the controlling totalitarianism of the rest of the world is brought back to his people in London to see what civilized living and civilized people are like. But as could be guessed that was a mess because the man had known Shakespear and God, he knew raging emotions, love, solotude. These things were not compatable with civilizations. There are many fabulous dialogues along the way but finally he is granted leave to an abandoned place not far from London where he could start a new life as a hermit growing and hunting for his survival. But people discover him and taunt him.
The last few pages are tragic and I wont give it away. But it is a good book to get you thinking about how much any of us can uphold individual values and beliefs and the power of group think. Huxleys explanation of the value of religion through one character, a government leader, that people turn to learn of God in old age when people realize their weakness, they become listless and lose comfort. In the Brave New World people are made to be happy all the time. They are always comfortable and have no fears, even of death. Because of this they never need God. They never have need to seek something greater then themselves. They are comfortable and have everything they ever wanted when they want it. These people never have intense feelings of love, suffering, isolation, anger. Essencially they live a numb and shallow life without need.
I wonder if many people in States and other parts of the world do not seek God because they too live shallow lives seeking happiness, living in comfort, getting everything they want when they want it without sacrifice, and essencially being their own God, the center of their own universe, meeting only their own pleasures are very much the same as the people in this book. I wonder....
All the more reason I want to experience both great highs and lows in this life. I want to enjoy art and I want to know what it is to go without an essencial need every now and then. But mostly I want to make sure I never live chasing my own happiness, putting myself on the throne that is reserved for God. I will not serve myself or anyone else but God. Read the book!

Newsletter 3

2007-09-09T12:40:00.000-05:00

Family and Friends

I really appreciate all the emails many of you have sent. I love the encouragement especially. We found this past week very exausting. Our orientation to life in the favela, Portuguese, and various ministry opportunities has ended and we have been released to DO what we came to do.

Basically that means I now have a weekly schedule. On Mondays and Fridays we go downtown to hang out-out with, minister to, play with, and sometimes feed the street kids. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays we break up into two groups and work with area faith based organizations. Heather and I will be spending those mornings at the Missionaries of Charity and the afternoons at the small orphanage in Tijuca (another area of Rio). Thursday mornings we have group meetins and book discussions and Thursday night we have Portuguese lessons. Saturday is Sabbath, spend however we choose. Last week we did nothing. This week we went to Copacobana and Arpoador beaches. Then Sunday is cleaning day and church. Church in Brazil is on Sunday nights instead of the morning. We find that very convenient.

Part of the reason this has been such an exausting week is because we have been passing around a soar throat and cough thing. I kinda think it is just our bodies trying to adjust to this new place with the allergies of winter transisioning into Spring and the smog of a large city. But just as our bodies are adjusting to this new place so are our neighbors getting used to the fact that we are not going anywhere. It is starting to feel like we belong here. When we walk down the streets of Jacare people recognize us and say, Oi, boa tarde! or some other friendly greeting. This is our home and the community has accepted us. To see where we live on Google Earth search for Jacare or Jacarezinho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. We live in the most beautiful and amazing place. Yesterday (Saturday) we went to the beaches, Friday we went to the mountains, and most other days we go from the slum to the heart of downtown. We are constantly facing both the majesty of Gods creation and the poverty of injustices.

And this is the main reason contributing to why we are so exausted. Our minds are overwhelmed with images of starving young faces, glue sniffing youth, alcoholism and drug addictions, perverted sexuality, homelessness, and a host of other despairing realities. But at the same time, we just had a mini retreat to the mountains and saw a huge waterfall, monkies (micu) and a coati. Then yesterday we saw the sun set over Arpoador beach. It is all a bit overwhelming at the moment. But it is wonderful. I praise God for bringing me here and I thank you for the many ways you have (and do support) supported me. I do not want to become so familiar with seeing these injustices that I no longer feel the sting of rage welling up inside of me yearning to combat the systems of injustice or the compassion to love and help people who are afflicted by extreme poverty. Neither do I want to become too familiar with the beauty of creation that I begin to take the mountains and the ocean for granted. I want to experience all things in a way that will be glorifying to God. This is where I am right now. In my next newsletter I will try to describe what we do on the streets and while volunteering at the other organizations.

Our fifth teammate, Will, arrived Monday. Only two weeks late. He fits right into the group and went directly to the streets with us when he arrived. He is from Kentucky and he also just graduated from college.

I pray you are all well. That school has begun without too much hardship. That work is fulfilling. That health is well. And that you recognize your many blessings.

Enjoy the pictures! I love and miss you!
Jennifer

Who is My Enemy?

2007-09-01T15:40:00.000-05:00

Who is My Enemy?

Rich Nathan

Zondervon, 2002

This book wasn't on my original list but with all the time I've had to read lately that I should have been using to study Portuguese, I decided to pick this one off the shelf of WMF staff members bookshelf. And I'm really glad that I did. It proved to be a fantastic book that I'm glad I spent the past couple days reading. It went through a few sub cultures that are sometimes viewed in opposition to the cause of Christ. The sub-culture is explained in great detail, then through testimonies, other forms of story, and scripture Nathan describes how the church has rejected and can embrase these beloved people. The categories were: Post Modernity, Feminism, Homosexuality, New Age, and Liberal. I found the explanation section on Post Modernity one of the most complete and detailed. I found the section on homosexuality to be the most loving account I have heard so far from any evangelical that still came down on the conviction that it is sinful. I was very impressed by this loving responce.
Some quotes that stuck with me: "As we carry out our ministry of welcome, we will season our moral stances with profound mercy and compassion for a hurting world." pg 10. "What is most wrong with the world is that the people of God fail to act and live like the people of God." pg 28. "Whether women should be in leadership or teach men, however, is not in the category of a Moral command. If it were, God would not violate his own standards by ever allowing a women to lead or to teach a man. God never violates his own holiness. But without condemnation, the Bible does portrey women teaching and leading men." pg 154-5. "Homosexuality is clearly not God's will, according to Scripture, but than neither are many chronic conditions such as asthma, multiple sclerosis, and birth defects. Yet, in this fallen and broken world, such things exist." pg 190. and a quote from Lincoln on pg 240, "My concern is not whether God is on our side, but whether we are on God's side!"
Then my favorite quote of all was quoting an old comic character, Pogo, "We have met the enemy and he is us."

Mother Teresa

2007-08-28T11:38:00.000-05:00

No Greater Love
The most Accessible and Inspirational Collection of Her Teachings Ever Published

This was a beautiful book that I recommend to anyone desiring to live in a way more like Christ. Most of the books I read are more critical of Christian culture and are not nearly so inspiring. But there is more than one way to skin a cat and Momma T chose the way of love.
The thing that struck me most while reading this book is that it begins with prayer than moves to love, giving, holiness and service. When I think of Mother Teresa and the life she lived I think of the unloved people she reached out to and the dieing people she gave a peaceful farewell to. I do not think of her as a so-called prayer warrier but she makes it abundantly clear in her writting that to do these marvelous acts of charity it must be God's movement in us. Her live was an outpouring of prayer. Her life was prayer in action.

This was a valuable lesson to learn as we arrived in Brazil because it seems that the first week was a lot of sitting around rather than going out. We did some things but mostly orientation stuff. So knowing that God's work in the world is accomplished through God not our abilities or ambition I didn't feel so lazy and like our days were wasted. Personally the first week was standing on the balcony overlooking the favela praying for God to move and for us to be instraments. Now it seems we will have a more regular active ministry schedule but I will strive to make every thing we do a prayer. I'm still learning in this area but this book gave renewed peace about the mercy and love of God for all people and it's okay if I don't do well, God is sovereign.

Read this one, it is amazing!!!!!

Into the Wild

2007-08-24T09:24:00.000-05:00

Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

This is the story about Christ (Alex Supertramp) McCandless. He graduated from college and set out on a solo road trip in which he never returned. After he left he completely severed all ties, going by a made up name and not contacting any former friends or family. The journey began in Atlanta with detours through Arizona, California, Mexico, and South Dakota before his fatal ending near Denali National Park Alaska.
Part of me identified with this young man's passionate persuit into the wild but also his meathod was very selfish. He depended on no one for companionship or survival. He desired to be completely independent and at one with nature. I appreciate nature but realize that I prefer to share beauty with another person and know that sticky situations come up and it's good to travel with others for safety.
Chris' heros were Henry Thoreau, Jack London, and Leo Tolstoy. A couple quotes from the end of his life:
"Now what is history. It is the centureies of systematic explorations of the riddle of death, with a view to overcoming death. That's why people discover mathematical infinity and electromagnetic waves, that's why they write symphonies. Now you can't advance in this direction without certain faith. You can't make such discoveries without spiritual equipment. And the basic elements of this equipment are in the gospels. What are they. To begin with, love of one's neighbors, which is the supreme form of bital energy. Once it fills the heart of man it has to overflow and spend itself. And then th two basic ideals of modern man-without them he is unthinkable-the idea of free personality and the idea of life as sacrifice." Boris Pasterniak, Doctor Zhivago Page highlighted in one of the books found with Chris' remains; underscoring by McCandless.
Upon finishing reading Tolstoy's "Family Happiness" McCandless marked passages including:
"He was right in saying that the only certain happiness in life is to live for others...." "I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possiblity of being useful to people whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor-such is my idea of happiness. And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, and children, perhaps-what more can the heart of a man desire?"
These quotes make me wonder what would happen if Chris had managed to survive the Alaskan wilderness. Would he contact his family. Would he allow himself to be known and vulnerable to friends. Or would he continue to maintain only a relationship to the wild as Alexander Supertramp.
I love people and I hope my desire for adventures never supersedes my desire to know and love people.

Newsletter 1

2007-08-24T09:22:00.000-05:00

Hello Friends and Family, If you are receiving this email I thought you would like to be includedin updates from my upcoming mission trip to Brazil. If you don't want to be receiving these updates, would rather I send them to another emailaddress, or know someone else who would like to be included; please reply to this letter with that information. I will be flying to Rio from Houston on August 18th and arriving on the 19th. I will be there for four months with three other interns and 5 permanent residents. I will know more specifically what I will be doingonce I get there and start getting involved. I do know that I will be inlanguage classes and will be working some with street kids, some with homelessmen, some with orphans, and some with establishing a new shelter for pregnantor street momthers with new-borns. I also know that I will be playing lotsof soccer, reading lots of books, living in less than comfortableconditions, and learning what it means to love people who smell, are strung out on drugs, or are otherwise different from those I generally hang out with. If you are on this list than you are important to me. I want you to know what I'm going through and I want to know what is happening in your lifeas well while I'm away. So when you receive my emails maybe you will wantto pray for our group and the people I tell stories about and then maybeyou will want to send me an email describing your day at work/school/vacation/whatever is going on with you. I'd reallyappreciate that. Also, I just received an update on how much money I have raised so farwhich amounts to $2350. This internship requires that I raise $4800. Thatmeans that as of today I am still short $2550. That's a lot of money and Itrust that it will all come in eventually. Unfortunately I have to have $3000to get on the plane. If you have not donated and you wanted to please takethis as a reminder and send it in as soon as you can. If you have already supported financially you can pray that the rest of the needed supportcomes in and talk to people who like to support these kinds of NGOs/missions. Attached is the support card that needs to be sent in with your checks. Remember, do not write my name anywhere on the check. It needs to bemade out to Word Made Flesh. On the support card you can write to apply thefunds to staff member Me (Jennifer Pare). If you are wondering how you can find out more about what I will bedoing in Brazil and who I will be working for OR if you misplaced the letter Isent out back in June explaining everything, I'm attaching a basic form ofthe initial support letter as well. If you still want more information orare really bored while surfing the web sometime check out wordmadeflesh.organd read the stories about others serving around the world. OK-enough talk about money. While I'm away I will also be updating myblogs. On blogger.com I will be writing book reviews on the reading I will bedoing while in Rio and perhaps some other reflections as well. My blog namethere is: jen-unconventionalwisdom.blogspot.com You do not need a blog of yourown to view it. I will also be updating my xanga, probably less frequently, about more day to day occurrences. My blog name there is zhinifo. Ithink you have to have a registered blog with xanga to view that one but Icould be wrong. I think that is all the pre-field updates I have to give. I'll beleaving Chicagoland on the 16th to drive to Lubbock where I will store my carwhile gone. So think of me on the 16-17. It's a 20 hour drive, alone.Otherwise expect to receive the first real newsletter towards the end of themonth. I plan to send them out every couple of weeks. There is a chance I may get some photos sent out as well. The plan with pictures is to take a couple disposables and mail them home as I use them up. Hopefully my parentswill be able to scan and send out the good ones and then I'll write aboutwhat they are after they get sent out. If you have any other suggestions or thoughts or support or anything else, you know what to do! I love you all (y'all),Jen Pare

newsletter 2

2007-08-24T09:18:00.000-05:00

Oi from Rio
If this is your first email from me then know from this point forward you will be on my newsletter recipient list and you can read the first newsletter archieved at my blog: jen-unconventionalwisdom.blogspot.com. A copy of all my newsletters will be archieved there under the tag: Rio Servant Team.

A quick thanks to all of you who contributed financially to making this opportunity possible for me. Expect a real mailed thank you at some point hopefully in the near future but I'm still trying to figure out the postal service here.

I've been in Rio for 6 days now. The flight was uneventful. I met 3 of the four other interns in Houston. Heather is from Mississippi and is a nurse. Lisa is from Seatle and has worked in youth ministry. David is from Virginia and just graduated from Wake Forest with degrees in Political Science and Spanish. He also already knows Portuguese which is a really big help to the rest of us. Every evening we have Portuguese lessons from a woman who is a friend of WMF staff Jenna. We live in the favela Jacarexinho, Ben's bungalow floors 2-4. The women reside on the fourth floor and the men on the third. There are generally two rooms per floor. It is a really fantastic place to live. I spend lots of time on the porch off the 4th floor reading, praying, and studying the language.

A couple nights ago a friend of Ben's from Colorado visited and we all climbed to the roof where the kids fly kites and we viewed the stars and Christ the Redeemer statue. While we were up there we saw a blindingly bright shooting star. We spent the next couple hours in conversation while eating bread and mangos.

Traditional breakfast is coffee and bread (so much for quitting coffee for a while). Lunch comes around 2 or 3 and is the largest meal. Snack at 6 and supper at 9 or 10. Rice and beans are common for lunch and supper but also include other options including beef or chicken, some pasta, fruit and veggies. The food is good but I'm hungry a lot.

Tuesday we went to the Orphanage. It is a house and shop overseen by one old woman and 15 kids ranging from 2-16ish. We had lots of fun playing with the children. This afternoon we will go downtown for our first time and next week we will go to the missionaries of Charity home.

We are still waiting for the fourth intern to join us but he was declined VISA on his frist application and still waiting to hear back from his second attempt. Please pray for his situation.

Otherwise we are well and adjusting to our new home. We stay inside a lot while getting to know each other, learning the rules of the culture and neighborhood, and the language.

Thanks for reading. I hope you are all well. Blessings to you. If you want to brighten our day and send a letter or American junk food (cookies, peanut butter, that sort of thing) our P.O. box is:
Ben Miller (Jen Pare)
Caixa Postal 24103
AC Tijuca
Rio de Janeiro, RJ 20550-970
Brasil
and write Air Mail on the envelope for speedier delivery!

love to you all!
Jen

The Importance of Being Foolish

2007-08-14T23:05:00.000-05:00

The Importance of Being Foolish: How to Think Like Jesus
Brennan Manning

This book was a short hard back so I choose to read it before leaving the country because it weighed as much as many of the more lengthy paper backs. Now I'm one down and like 12 to go (unless I choose to take along "Brave New World" and replace the weight I was trying to loose by reading quickly. If all that didn't make since here's the clarification. I'm packing to move to Brazil for four months and I don't want to take lots of heavy books but I still want to do tons of reading so in all my brilliant logic I decided to read the hard cover books first and try to read them before actually leaving. One down one to go before Saturday.

I expected this book to be all about the counter-cultural values of Jesus but it wasn't. I did discuss this but not at lenth. The focus of this book was love. Check out a few quotes that stuck out to me:
"Little brother, perhaps the most difficult thing for you to accept at this moment is your failure to have done with your life what you long to accomplish. This is the cross you wanted least of all, the cross you never expected, the cross you find hardest to bear. Somewhere you got the idea that I expected your life to be an untarnished success story, an unbroken upward spiral toward holiness. Don't you see that I am too realistic for that?" (pg. 163)
"Reason demands moderation in love as in all things; faith destroys moderation here." (pg 114)
"Once you come to know the love of Jesus Christ, nothing else in the world will seem beautiful or desirable.... I cannot let you go. In good times and bad, victory and defeat, my life has no meaning without you.... This and this alone is authentic Christianity. Not a code of dos and don'ts, not a tedious moralizing, not a list of forbidding commandments, and certainly not the necessary minimum requirement for avoiding the pains of hell." (pg 173-4)

Then the epologue gets into the foolish bit by suggesting that the common Christianity is not offensive. This nonoffensive brand will not transform anything. People will see what true Christians do and label them as fools because only a fool would love without moderation or regard to how they are treated in return.

The first third or so of this book dealt with common things that pull a person away from this foolish way of following Christ and those things were security, pleasure, and power. Manning tells some stories to illustrate this primary points and through these stories details how addicted we as a people are to those distractions listed above. One of the cures for these addictions is forgiveness of others and of self. And the last and most foolish point in the book was the seemingly foolishness of the cross. Manning tells stories of St. Francis weeping at the image of Christ crusified. He wept because of his uncontrolable love for Christ. He saw in Christ's death the immeasurable love of God for all people.

This book has reminded me of the centrality of love to who we are as witnesses for Christ. An important thing to be reminded of before hitting the streets. It also reminded me of a song by Nicole Nordeman- "Fool for You"

There are times when faith and common sense do not align
When hardcore evidence of you is hard to find
And I am silenced in the face of argumentative debate
And its a long hill its a lonely climb
Cause they want proof
They want proof of all these mysteries I claim
Cause only fools believe would want to chant a dead man's name
Maybe its true, yeah but..........

Chorus:
I'll be a fool for you (fool for you)
Oh because you asked me too
A simpleton who's seemingly naive
I do believe
You came and made yourself a fool for me

I admit that in my darkest hours I've asked what if
What if we've created some kind of man made faith like this
Out of good intention, or emotional invention
And after life is through there will be no you
Cause they want proof of all these miracles I claim
Cause only fools believe that men can walk on waves
Maybe its true, yeah but.......Chorus

Unaware of popularity
Unconcerned with dignity
You've made me free
That's proof enough for me
Oh, Oh yeah...........

I'd be a fool for you (fool for you)
Oh if you ask me too
A simpleton who's only thinking of
The cause of love
I will speak Jesus' name
If that makes me crazy
They can call me great
I'm happy to be seemingly naive
I do believe you came and made yourself a fool for me
(a fool for you)

Summer Reading List

2007-08-11T16:09:00.001-05:00

I have compiled a stack of books that will be traveling with me to Rio. Here is the official list of books that you can expect to find written about in the next few months:

From Brokenness to Community.
Jean Vanier
Paulist Press, 1992

The Way of the Heart: Desert Spirituality and Contemporary Ministry.
Henri J. M. Nouwen
HarperSanFrancisco, 1981

Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life.
Henri J. M. Nouwen, Donald P. McNeill, and Douglas A. Morrison
Image Books, 1983

Good News About Injustice: A Witness of Courage in a Hurting World.
Gary A. Haugen
InterVarsity Press, 1999

The Jesus I Never Knew.
Philip Yancey
Zondervan, 1995

Announcing The Reign of God: Evangelization and the Subversive Memory of Jesus.
Mortimer Arias
Wipf and Stock Publishers, 1999

Rich Christians in and Age of Hunger: Moving From Affluence to Generosity.
Ronald J. Sider
W Publishing Group, 1997

Bible and Mission: Christian Witness in a Postmodern World.
Richard Bauckham
Baker Book House, 2003

Into the Wild.
Jon Krakauer
Anchor Books, 1996

The Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius: A New Translation From the Authorized Latin Text.
Translated with Commentary by Pierre Wolff
Liguori/Triumph, 1997

How to Be A Monastic and Not Leave Your Day Job: An Invitation to Oblate Life.
Brother Benet Tvedten
Paraclete Press, 2006

No Greater Love.
Mother Teresa
MJF Books, 1997

The Importance of Being Foolish: How to Think Like Jesus.
Brennan Manning
HarperCollins, 2005

Punk Monk

2007-08-11T15:37:00.000-05:00

Punk Monk: New Monasticism and the Ancient Art of Breathing
by Andy Freeman and Pete Greig
Regal Books, 2007

I actually read this book before reading Harry Potter and saved the epilogue and appendixes until today. This book reminded me a bit of Irresistible Revolution because of its purpose and narrative style. The authors of this book primarily tell the story of the conception of their boiler room in Reading, England and how it has developed through time.

"A 24-7 Boiler Room Community is a Christ-centered community that practices a daily rhythm of prayer, study and celebration while caring actively for the poor and the lost."
"Bonhoeffer recognized in Christ's Sermon on the Mount a subversive and revolutionary manifesto for a counter-cultural resistance that could be cultivated into a new form of monasticism."
"Do we believe that the world will change if we dare to live them [Jesus words in the Gospels] out radically?
"The monastic life was about, as Bonhoeffer reminded us, "an uncompromising allegiance to a life lived according to the Sermon on the Mount."
"Nearly every major monastic movement began as a violent reaction to compromised religion. Monasticism, at its best, has always been a cry for change--in our own hearts, in an over-accommodating Church and in society at large."
"Our mission is only and entirely to minister to Jesus, which we do primarily through prayer and worship, and secondarily by finding the face of Jesus in the faces of the poor and the lost."
"Aposto-monastic- seek to combine the inward call to intimacy in prayer with the outward commission to involvement in practice."
"Celtic missionaries believed that they would find God upon their arrival only if He walked with them the entire way. 'I shall not find Christ at the end of my journey unless he accompanies me along the way.'"
"When we pray, we cannot remain passive, because God stirs us to be active and to love the people we are praying for with our actions."

I hope I have not bored you with all these quotes but this is one of those books that I found myself highlighting several bits like these along the way. They are nuggets of wisdom that are surrounded by stories to illustrate the point. These boiler rooms are not very different from Celtic monasteries. They have a regular prayer schedule, liturgy, and evangelistic activity. They value/embrace/encourage creativity better than any other organized Christian gathering that I know of. They have exciting prayer, which is unfortunately a rare treat. These 24-7 Boiler Room communities seem to be doing a lot of great things around the world and embracing a population of people generally not reached by traditional churches.

Harry Potter 7

2007-08-11T13:06:00.000-05:00

Harry Potter And the Deathly Hallows
by J. K. Rowling
Arthur A. Levine Books, 2007

This is probably the first series of books I've followed completely as they were written. No matter what anybody says these were wonderful books. I think they will benefit adults and children alike more than they could possibly harm. Reason being, the character development within the books is like a lesson in sociology and morality. What could I possibly mean? There are many types of characters in this book: young, old, male, female, popular, peculiar, good, evil, etc... There is development of people though their primary personality developing years, teenage. This means that those reading the book get the privilege of observing the dynamic relationships of people as they learn to relate to one another. This view I think could help readers understand more about themselves and what qualities a good friend might possess. Maybe that is a bit of a stretch but seriously that is the part of all of these books I have enjoyed the most.

There were parts of the books when Harry for instance struggled with the feeling like he had to do everything himself without the assistance of friends. There were times with everyone thought Luna was a nut. There were times when Ron lost his temper. There were times when Hermione was lonely. There were times when Neville began to stand up for what he believed. I understand that all these characters were made up but they are a beautiful portrayal of real personalities and real development. I hope that especially children reading these books will have seen though this seventh book that the best way to live is selflessly even to the point of actually being willing to lay down your life for another person.

What did I think of the actual story? I liked the journey feel. Harry and his two companions having to travel undercover to find and destroy the Horcruxes. In the last couple chapters I think Rowling tried to put too many main events. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK AND DOESN'T WANT IT TO BE SPOILED DON'T READ THIS NEXT PART!!!!!!! first Harry is about to go to Voldemort then he goes to the castle with Snape's memory, then Harry starts going back to Voldemort, then he stops to chat with Neville, then Harry gets to Voldemort, then Harry dies, then Harry talks to Dumbledore, then he's back to life, I'll not write about the very last part unless some of you are still reading who haven't read the book. But is just felt very back and forth and overdone in the end. What would have been so bad about Harry actually being killed with Voldemort? I think the better ending could have been the interpretation of the prophecy being they either both lived or both died (this actually was the interpretation but of course in the end Harry lives while Voldemort dies) oops I gave it away.

All in all, I have really enjoyed reading this books and look forward to adding the complete set of audio books to my collection for long solo road trips (I wish I had them already because I'm about to drive to Lubbock, again).

The next book I will be writing about is Punk Monk. Expect to see that one today or tomorrow.